There's a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends

You barely have time to process this information as you see Evil Elmo attacking you with the most frightening sword you have ever seen. And it looks like he's planning to castrate you with it!

Evil Elmo crashes to the sidewalk as you barely scramble out of the way, saving your goods. As he struggles to pull the embedded sword from the concrete where he had planted it moments ago, you sock him in the mouth with the hardest punch you have ever thrown.

You don't have time to watch Evil Elmo as he collapses into the street next to the burned out Chevrolet HHR, although the temptation to kick his unconscious body down into someone's basement is great. Instead, you need to get out of here. Most of the brownstones and shops on this block are ones you would never even dream of setting foot in, there's a large gasoline fire at the end of the street, and you could swear that you've seen two dead bodies fall from the top of Hooper's Liquor Store.

But first, you run into someone...

1. Big Bird, who in this existance, is the neighborhood's biggest pimp and drug pusher.
2. Oscar the Cheerful, who lives in the only brownstone that isn't falling to pieces.
3. The Count, who looks suspiciously like Edward Cullen. Yes, he sparkles as he counts.
4. Bert and Ernie, two gay bikers dressed in leather with an insatiable appetitle for booze, violence, and dangerous sex.
5. Steak and Potatoes Monster. Self explanatory.
6. Grover J. Rockefeller, the true kingpin of Sesame Straat. He loves waving that money in your face.
7. Kermit the Frog, who is surprisingly no different from his Sesame Street counterpart.
8. Snuffleupagus, a rabid pit bull.
9. It's Bob, and...Mr. Hooper?! So that's where he ended up after dying!
10. Josh Burbank.

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