Handy Fella

Doctor Carey does indeed manage to fix his hand. And by "fix," I mean "replaces it with a painted wooden replica of a hand, and the wrong hand at that, which can be mistaken for the real thing at distances of greater than one hundred meters after dark, so that it now looks as if Josh has two left hands, one of which is oversized and matte black." But still, it's a hand, it looks somewhat better than the original hand did, and it makes a dandy spatula and stew-stirring paddle.

In the process, Josh gets a great many new and interesting ailments from the doctor, some of which, up until that time, were wholly unknown or were known only from legend. These included, but were not limited to, Cooper's Brain, Dropsy of the Buttocks, Happiness Leprosy, Mad Sow, Aching Asshole, Sphincter Rot, Bronson's Audible Yodel, Yammering Splat Vector, Wyclef Jean, Terminal Kvetchiness, Tin Ears, and termites (in the wooden hand).

1. What other strange and buttfuckingly bizarre diseases did Josh contract?
2. Josh's other hand falls off. Josh replaces it with a small anvil.
3. Josh loses his buttocks, and is driven from the village by the town elders.
4. Josh doesn't have cash, so he pays Carey with a bag of fresh human skulls he was saving for a rainy day.
5. Unable to deal with life, Josh buries himself in a wine cask.

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