Chinchilla Taco: The Health Department is Off Our Backs and We're Back in Business!

"Melt With You" by Modern English plays over a montage of attractive, happy people, couples and families sitting down in dining rooms, outdoors on the beach and at picnics and even at work, eagerly unwrapping and biting into tacos and burritos apparently filled with an unidentified dark meat of some sort.

Voice-over: "When you've got that hankerin' for real, grain-fed chinchilla flavor, wrapped in warm, pillowy flatbread and served with our spicy mix of onions, seven peppers and ten spices, come on down to Chinchilla Taco. Try one of our Chipotle Rodent Wraps with black bean sauce, with a hot side of our Cheesy-Pepper Rice and our Old Spanish Beans, cooked according to a 200 year old secret family recipe>. Kids love our crispy cinnamon fuzzy Hanta-twists with our Rat Raisin Ice Cream, and you can get it all with our 9.95 Family Feast."

The logo appears, a pair of cute smiling cartoon chinchillas peeking out of the end of a burrito. "So when you get that deep-down cravin' and nothin' else will do...when you're tired o' some greasy rodent burger...come on down to Chinchilla Taco. We've emptied the cages just for you."

"CHINCHILLA TACO: NOW HANTAVIRUS FREE FOR 82 DAYS!"

1. A Chinchilla Taco opens next to every SquirrelBurger. And the war is on.
2. More disgusting fast food ads appear. Apparently cricket crunches are rapidly becoming a national craze.
3. They may be Hantavirus free, but notice the ad didn't mention plague...
4. ..or monkeypox.
5. Lots42 slays the CEO of Chinchilla Taco with a sharpened bone.

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