Unconsciously Screamin'

"That kinda hurt," he said.

Scott lay dying on the ground, bleeding out from four wounds in his chest, and two in his left arm. "You've killed me. How I want to know. You've killed me in the sense of the way you were or are." were his last words before his demise.

People begin to stand up once they feel confident that no more shots will be ringing out. They slowly approach Scott's dead body. Finally, someone speaks:
"What the hell did he say?" Bill Murray asks. "Did that make any sense at all?"
"Shhh!" warns Sara. "There's a man over there with a gun!"

A man wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora slowly approaches from the northeast. He carefully sets his weapon on the ground, then gestures with his hands that he does not intend to shoot anyone else. As he comes closer to Scott's body, people notice that with the exception of his eyes, his entire face is covered.

"Who are you?" asks Paco, with his sword drawn, just in case.

The mysterious man says nothing to Paco, but his unrelenting stare is enough to unnerve more than a few people in the crowd. After a tense few minutes in which one person faints, and several crying children have to be carried away by their mothers, the masked man slowly raises a hand to his head. He methodically removes his fedora, revealing a ski mask, which is removed next.

Nobody recognizes the man after he unmasks, but he is definitely of Chinese descent. The look on his face is stoic. He starts to open his mouth to say something, but he is cut off by Josh:
"Okay, seriously...who are you anywa...holy shit! Y-you're-"

"Yes," says the mysterious man. "I am Raymond Chen. I used to be a childhood friend of Scott that some of you might have heard about. We went to school together for several years before my parents moved to California after our sophomore year. And I do regret not getting to say goodbye to Scott and our other friends before we left!"
"Then why did you have to shoot him?" asks Josh. "I know he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but he didn't deserve this!"
"I have a story to tell you people," answers Ray. "Ever since Scott started calling himself 'Scott Raymond Chen' a long time ago, I've been the one suffering for it. You can't imagine how embarrassing it is to have total strangers contacting you asking why my name's being thrown around in connection with some bizarre incident that I was over a thousand miles away from! Also, do any of you know how many women have gone online and started trashing me just because Scott slept with them, then broke his promise to 'keep in touch'? I lost count of how many strange emails or instant messenger conversations I've gotten over the past ten years blaming me for something Scott pulled! Pretty soon, it started affecting my life! I flunked out of college, which caused so much embarrassment to my family that my parents split up! I lost out on a bunch of decent job offers because of things Scott did that were somehow blamed on me! And to top it all off, that asshole took my name from me, and for what?"

There is an awkward silence. Finally, Lots42 speaks up. "Umm, Ray, he did that in tribute to you. He didn't hate you, and in fact, he missed you as a friend."

Another period of silence follows before Raymond speaks. "Tribute. Whatever. Scott had a funny way of 'honoring' me, didn't he? And besides, didn't you idiots ever wonder why Scott was using a Chinese name when he was clearly a caucasian? You did know that his real name was Scott Alan Childers, right? Well?!"
Several people in the crowd murmur that they did know this. Josh adds "Yeah, but we played along just to humor him."
"Right. Regardless of his intentions, I never appreciated what he did. Scott ruined my life when he adopted my name as his own! Now that I've gone too far over the edge, just look at what I've done to him, it's time to bid you all farewell. Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll be dead before they arrest me for murder. It's not like I have much of a chance to beat the rap with all of these witnesses around."

After that, Raymond turns around and begins to walk slowly towards the northeast. He stops to pick up his gun, leaving his discarded ski mask in its place as some kind of symbolic gesture that no one quite understands. Within minutes, he is out of sight, presumably forever. People in the crowd nervously look at each other. Finally, a voice from the back of the crowd calls out "Why didn't we grab him when we had the chance?"

It's a question that will most likely never be answered. For now, a new funeral had to be planned...

1. A few days later, everyone gathers in the same spot for Scott's new funeral.
2. Oddly enough, Scott comes back to life just a few minutes later.
3. Meanwhile, we follow Raymond as he aimlessly walks through America, waiting to meet his destiny.
4. Bill Murray still wants to know what the hell Scott was talking about before he finally died.

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