Too cute for words

"...." said Fred. He did not mean to be rude, it was just that whenever the rabbit woman turned away from him, he could see her fluffy little tail, and it was indeed too darn cute for words. He wanted to explain, but every time she turned to face him, the sight of her breasts made him forget whatever he was going to say. You can see how that kept a damper on their conversation.

But Brin was not even listening to her fellow jailbird. She was busy shaking the bars, as she did every day at this time. It did not really do anything useful - a jailbreak expert had once calculated that while a set of iron bars may indeed be dislodged sufficiently to facilitate an escape, the average time for doing it in this manner was something like 206 years. But it made Brin feel she was doing something, hearing the noise from the other cells (just out of view) gave her a sense of community, and according to what she had read in the highwayman novels when she was young, one could actually get a reduced sentence this way. Which goes to show that one should not read anything one believes. Or possibly the other way around.

"...." said Fred again as Brin stopped shaking and turned around to walk over to him. He had actually missed a splendid view by not standing beside her as she shook the bars, but he was too much of a gentleman to think like that.

Brin walked over to him and looked down at him sitting on the cell's only chair - which he normally would have offered to her, but she could not use it because of her tail. "What is the matter, Fred?" she asked in her soft lilting voice. "You were so talkative in the tavern. You're not mad at me, are you?"

Fred looked up at her and promptly forgot what he was going to say. Brin sighed and turned to walk away, thereby giving him a closeup of the aforementioned cute fluffy tail.

"!!!!" gasped Fred and keeled over in a massive heart attack.

1. Fortunately Fred has a splendid lung defense which beats back the heart attack.
2. Brin screams, attracting the attention of a young guard who thinks Brin's cute fluffy tail is to darn cute to be locked up. Unfortunately his sentiment does not include the rest of her body.
3. Brin's sentence does get reduced. By about two verbs and a noun.
4. Fred dies. Now a ghost, he is no longer distracted by Brin's body and can speak freely. Unfortunately Brin can not hear ghosts.
5. Before Fred expires, the Story Police bursts in and arrests Fred for excessive punctuation.
6. Somehow a white rabbit wanders into the cell. Starving for company, Brin picks it up and kisses it.
7. An average of 206 years later, one of the bars falls down.

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