Fred Goes to the Wardrobe

I don't like this, he thought to himself rather sulkily, But I suppose I should at least make my own choice than let him - whoever he is - make it for me!

Upon opening the wardrobe, Fred was surprised at some of the choices he found, and soon found himself comparing them critically, wondering which would look best on him. Finally, he settled on:

1. A skimpy leather harness top that seemed to match the way his lower body was currently outfitted.
2. A red and white checkered calico dress.
3. A suit of armor - but one obviously designed to be worn by a female.
4. A very brief top and a skirt that appeared to be made of - grass?
5. A harlequin's outfit.
6. An elegant silk blouse and pants set.
7. An unfamiliar yet enticing outfit - it appeared to be some sort of uniform.
8. A suit of armor - but one obviously designed to be worn by a female. [Alternative version]
9. The first thing he/she grabbed

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