Me and My Near-Blind Hindsight

A seven-year-old Josh Burbank finally mastered his ABCs, which prompted him to cry when his grandfather started playing his favorite Ornette Coleman record, The Shape of Jazz to Come. Josh was always afraid of Coleman's music because he didn't like his jazz that freaky. After crying up a storm, Josh went outside, found a handy stash of explosives, loaded them into his grandfather's Buick, and blew the car to smithereens.

Meanwhile, across the street, future MythBuster Adam Savage looked on, cheering and clapping his hands as if a seven-year-old blowing up a Buick was the greatest thing ever.

1. Oh, hush! It was the greatest thing ever!
2. Josh is severely punished for blowing up Grandpa's car.
3. This started a lifetime of Josh habitually wrecking automobiles.
4. "I reject your reality, and substitute my own!"

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