Software Pirates

Susan looked up to see who saved her, and then lowered her eyes in disappointment. It was a group of software pirates.

The motley group had tousled and longish hair, pimply and partly shaven faces, and bellies that lapped over their belts. They wore T- shirts with slogans like "Got root?" and "I can read your e-mail." Susan dreaded the awkwardness and tedium that would surely follow.

One of the socially inept pirates introduced himself. "Wow. Like, you are a girl. You are even kind of naked."

Another one said, "Dude, chill out. She knows that."

Another attempted to flirt with her. "Hey, have you read RFC 821? There are some neat jokes that you can play with that and a telnet prompt to port 23."

Another pirate said, "Man, that's old. Port 443 is much better if you want to have some fun."

Susan interrupted, "Well, thank you all for saving me. I think. And will you all please stop staring at me like that?"

"Uh, OK." said the leader, not taking his eyes off her chest. Susan tore off a length of a shirt from a dead bandit with the help of her sword, and used it as a sort of scarf to cover up some of the rips on the upper half of her dress. Then she said, "Now while I am glad for the help, I must be getting out of here. Would one of you be able to help me home - to my friend, Charles?"

1. The software pirates sighed. She already had a boyfriend.
2. The software pirates became excited. They knew Charles! Susan did not know whether she should be relieved or horrified.

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