First Gentleman

"Thank you, honey... that was wonderful," she gushes. "Now I have to get back to work."

"Which one again?" Josh asks absent-mindedly.

"The President one, silly." she laughs. "Now you be careful, allright? Anything can happen with that alien armada parked nearby Saturn, sending brain-controlling waves down here to Earth. Oops! That was a slip. Please dont tell the media, allright honey? Love ya! Bye bye~"

She skates away, followed by Secret Service agents. Josh gazes after her with affection. God, what a nice ass. Well in any case, it was time to start his day too. And for Josh Burbank, there was nothing better than a day that started out with...

1. gunning down illegal aliens with his trusty laser rifle.
2. following his girlfriend around jealously to make sure she wasnt cheating on him.
3. stealing people's identities on the Internet.
4. pimpin' his impressive collection of hos.
5. impersonating a rambling drunken street person to get loose change.
6. kung fu fighting.
7. writing books on governance.
8. making nature reality TV shows.
9. being devoured by his mother. WHAT?!

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