Forced March to Mount Orzhov

"What in the world are you doing, Billy?" Fred asked finally.

"El-tee, you won't believe this, but I think the old Bull Brannigan is in this world too," Billy said, glancing around nervously. "He chewed me out earlier, then just went off somewhere! He said that if he caught me slacking off again, he would tear off my head and shit down my neck, then gouge out my eyes and skullfuck me!"

Fred felt a little sorry for Billy, but telling him the truth would spoil the fun. It was a good thing he had yelled at Billy from behind while the NCO was frozen in fear. That, and Billy had no idea of Fred's mimicry skills.

"Relax, Weston," Fred said. "The Bull's clearly not around here, or we would hear him from miles away. It must've been your imagination. Let's take a quick break, shall we?"

"Allright," Billy gulped. As Fred sat back against a tree and mulled over their situation, Billy took what looked like a piece of steak from his pants pocket and started chewing on it.

"Billy... what are you eating?" Fred asked.

"Oh. This?" Billy said with his mouth full. "Chunk o' that big ol' dinosaur we made extinct. The frag grenade cooked this piece up real nice. Tastes kinda like beef jerky."

"Dammit Billy!!" Fred yelled, slapping the meat out of Billy's hand. "Can't you use your head for once?! Didn't it ever occur to you, that eating a piece of barely cooked meat from a mythological creature you found on the ground in another world may not be a good idea?!"

"How do you figure, el-tee?"

"Ohh," Fred sighed. "I can't go on like this. You're too much for a single officer to handle."

"Why don't you just calm down, el-tee?" Billy suggested.

"Calm down? Calm down?! When everybody else is humping their butts off back in Nam and we're here enjoying ourselves in goddamn La-La Land?! Calm down?! Oh, I'll calm down!!"

"Is that what it is," Billy said softly. "Well you know, we didn't ask for this. I've seen guys get shot dead a day before retirement. They didn't ask for it. I've also seen guys catch the million-dollar bullet their first day and go home with a fat pension. They didn't ask for it either. Who knows? Maybe as soon as we find this Diarrheous Notorious we'll be able to go back to the real jungle. Might as well enjoy all this while we can!"

"Did someone mention Daedarius?" a voice laughed somewhere close by. The foliage parted and an American Soldier emerged. Judging from his weapon and tattered uniform it was clear he was from the...

1. Revolutionary War.
2. War of 1812.
3. Civil War.
4. World War 1.
5. World War 2.
6. Korean War.
7. Vietnam War.
8. War on Terror.
9. World War 3.
10. Day of Judgement.

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