Fred continues praying for all he's worth. He knows that he is hoplessly lost and that his last hope is for a miracle from God.
Dear God, oh please, please, please, dear God, mutters the pathetic Fred. Please rescue me from this sordid mess I've made for myself. I'm lost, Lost, HOPELESSLY LOST! Oh dear God! Won't you send a miracle my way (and a few extra coins for a beer afterward woudn't hurt either).
A choir of Angels breaks into a chorus of praise!
Hallelujah - Hallelujah
The thunder peels and the Heavens crack open to reveal a brilliant light shining down on Fred.
Fred looks skyward, squints to see through the light, and sees the face of God.
The angry face of God!
God glares down at Fred and says, Shut the Hell up already. I'm trying to take a nap up here. Yeah, yeah, so you're lost again, are you? Well so waht? Be a man! Suck it up and find your own way out, you wimp! Holy Moly, but you have been a disappointment to me, Fred
Fred is flabbergasted. He never expected such dismissive treatment from the diety at whose temple he had worshiped for so long. But, but God, stammers Fred. I , I, I, ...
But before Fred can utter another word, God waves his hand and seals Fred's lips shut. I said shut the Hell up, and when I say shut the Hell up, I mean SHUT THE HELL UP! God looks angrily down at Fred and says, How you have been a disappointment to me. I don't think you'll ever change. Let's end this now, shall we?
God waves his hand again and causes Fred to have a heart attack and die.
The Angelic Chorus stops, the thunder ceases to peel, and the Heavens close up again. God returns to his nap.
Fred's body becomes vulture chow.
10/16/2012 1:24:18 PM
The Never Ending Quest Home
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