Neverending Republican Adventure

"Yes," quips your yes-man. "The poor must have turned out in record numbers to vote against the new tax cuts."

This sends you both into hysterical fits of laughter. "Where did they get the campaign money?" "Perhaps they perfected the alchemical process of transmuting lead into gold!" "What next, controls on global warming?" "Perhaps otters and seals will turn out to vote against deforestation and stuff!"

"Oh, mercy!" you giggle, wiping away a tear of hilarity. "In any case, we could sit around and wrangle all day over what lost us the election. But its clear that the terrorist-dick-sucking liberals have taken over Congress, at least until the next 9/11 jolts people back to reality."

"God, I'm so bored!" the yes-man yawns. "Reminds me of that old gag - you know, about the Japanese businessmen that get fired. They're so used to their daily routine they still get up every morning, put on their suit and tie, and sit in the park with their briefcase till 5 pm."

"That's just the kooky ones. The honorable ones commit hello kitty and disembowel themselves. But you're right. We need to do something to get our minds off all these Japanese people!"

"What should we do..." says the yes-man, lost in deep thought. "Is the most useful project possible, ambitious yet realistic, one that helps our beleaguered party in its hour of need!"

"Hmm..." you say.

1. Try to help prop up Junior's crumbling legacy.
2. SCHWARZENEGGER 2008. Nuff' said.
3. Continue the Republican Mars Colonization Project.
4. Write a Republican-themed episode on Sir-Toby's Extend-a-Story.
5. Go to Dick Cheney and vow to "clean up" Iraq if given 300 hand-picked men and a fleet of quinqueremes.
6. Take a nap and have a horrible nightmare, in which you are tormented by a dominatrix-clad Hillary Clinton.

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