The Sawbones and the theoretical physicist

"What the DEVIL?" another man screams in surprise, causing one Gordon Freeman's eyes to snap open.

Unbeknowns to them, they do not know just HOW lucky they are in waking up at ALL. Being that most other vats of LCL had been contaminated by . . . whatever the heck happened to the Angel Lilith would have turned what they are presently breathing into a killing, choking sludge.

Lets watch the show now, though, okay?

Lt. Commander Leonard McCoy

Oh God, after all we'd already faced I have to black out and find myself in THIS damn strange place!

What is with all these young naked girls with red eyes and blue hair here?! Why do they all have the same vacious grins on their faces?

I and the others of the landing party had barely escaped that one twisted mirror version of my own. After I'd somehow having convinced that pointed eared hobgoblin with the beard during the mindmeld that it would be within everyone's interest that we be allowed to depart so the his own versions of US could return, we'd been just materializing back on what (from the familiar looking uniforms) THIS happens. A flash of green light and BOOM, I find myself in this . . .this tank full of pale young naked girls!

What ARE these things? Clones?! Whatever they are they . . . don't appear to have anyone home up there in the attic, as it were.

"What the f*ck?" another man swears, backing of slightly in surprise at another set of strange naked girls grinning at him. The man then notices ME looking at him and stares.

"I repeat my question," he says now with a slightly annoyed look. "What is going on here? Is this some kind of joke?"

Dr. Gordon Freeman, theoretical physicist

Okay, where is the camera? Nice joke they played on me back at the Anomolous Materials lab. What did they use, some kind of new holographic technology? Then how did they simulate the earth shaking?

. . .

No, strike that. This is some kind of VERY sick joke to play on me. Don't know just HOW they managed all of it, with the flashes of electricity and the sparks. Honestly, I thought for a moment that the experiment had gone awry and all hell was breaking loose.

I am NOT speaking of me suddenly arriving here in this tank. Hell, I even would not be surprised that one of the secretive programs that goes on besides the teleportation program I belong to here.

. . .

You did read my paper: Observation of Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen Entanglement on Supraquantum Structures by Induction Through Nonlinear Transuranic Crystal of Extremely Long Wavelength (ELW) Pulse from Mode- Locked Source Array.

. . .

Sigh, okay. Blank look on your face means that even if you DID read it you had no idea of what it meant. To begin, the title of the paper I wrote roughly translates to: how to teleport large objects by shooting radio pulses through crystals of very heavy elements.

Oh, it is nothing new really, teleportation. There have been public demonstrations on the subject at a lot of reputable universities. It is just that the really cutting edge stuff wasn't . . . happening fast enough for my taste in the academic field and thus is why I'd joined the top secret project, to push the frontiers here.

Not one to drag my feet, boys and girls and by and large it has been a satisfying job. Granted, I'm only been recently hired on and my retinal scans still need to be processed and all. Granted that I'm doing tasks that right now a high school graduate could do, but when the paperwork is done! . . .

. . .

Well, that had been the idea, but today I kind of had a bad start, shall we say. Things at Black Mesa weren't exactly working right. . . .including my alarm clock. Power surge knocked it out and I overslept! Rushed all the way to work and was practically almost ready to push the trolley car to make it go faster. I arrived late, headed on down to the locker room and put on my HVAC suit but didn't bother to power it up (too little time). I arrived and then got the crystal sample the others had been waiting patiently for me to push into the mass spectrometer to analyze . . . and all Hell broke loose.

Next thing I know, I'm here with a bunch of naked Rei Ayanami of the Neon Genesis Evangelion fame replicas floating in this vat (maybe special order "android" . . .er . . .adult toys like they talked about on one of the racier postings at Spacebattles.com), along with a guy who's the splitting image of Dr. McCoy from Star Trek.

Whatever these giggling things are, their brainless enough to be androids that some of the . . . .less socially inclined use to pass the time with. Cough cough.

. . .

This has got to be a joke. A joke . . . please god let this be a joke. Please tell me that my actions, just pushing a material sample into the mass spectrometer could have cause a resonance cascade failure. THAT would mean the screams I heard right before I disappeared were real. That people died.

. . .

That somehow I played a part in it.

Please.

"Well sir," the McCoy look alike snaps in a very familiar manner. "Besides trying to brush off these woman I happen to be looking for a way OUT of this blasted tank! After that, I'll get back to you. Either keep floating there as you are or get busy and help me."

He then pauses, looking over his shoulder.

"By the way, the name is McCoy," the older man states. "And yours is?"

"Gordon Freeman," I say, suddenly a bit nonplused (more than I already am) by the sudden need to be polite to a look alike who's got his character so . . .bloody well down it's eerie. "Now . . . not to seem like a broken record but . . ."

"But your gonna do it anyway," grumbled McCoy, pulling on a hatchway he'd discovered in the corner.

McCoy

Alright. In case any of you out there think I'm acting oddly or perhaps being to accepting of this stranger, get it through your head: I'm not.

I want out of this strange tank and so does he and I'm fine with that. After that, I'll reevaluate the situation. It has not gone unnoticed that he's wearing glasses, an anachronism. Indicitive of a planetary tech level that's not ready for First Contact and that means I MIGHT be involved in something where the Prime Directive comes into play. While the Captain may feel like skirting the edges of that . . . I don't feel like doing it right now.

I'm still kind of wanting to recover from escaping death in that dark mirror universe, thank you.

I'm a doctor, not a lawyer! I don't want to have to explain myself before a board of inquiry. That is the reason why I had not yet revealed TOO much about myself besides my name and the desire to escape. Escape this tank and these . . . damn odd giggling girls.

Jeez, it is almost like they're . . . living dolls. Soulless. Gives me the shivers, really. Yes, I perhaps should try to see if they're under some kind of medical condition and treat them. That IS what doctors do, you know! Help treat people so they get well and all that? It is just that beyond the uniform I'm wearing, I have NO equipment to give aid with. Only the roughest of first aid could be given by me and the girls here don't need that.

Clothing ? Yes. First aid? None needed as far as I can tell.

So I am going to keep tight lipped about my true background (though for some odd reason this guy looks like he recognizes me, strange). I'm going to concentrate on getting the hell OUT of this tank and . . .

And of course, the heavens open up and fate wishes to interrupt me...

The door to this creepy place has just opened up and an Oriental looking woman with brown hair (pageboy cut) dressed in late 20th/early 21rst combat fatigues just walked in!

She's muttering some kind of curses (Japanese by the sound of it), looking about in distress for some reason, only to come up short when she looks our way.

Damnit, why is it that when I got swept up into this mess in this tank I couldn't at least have a friggin' universal translator on my person?

She barks out a question, clearly rather cross at finding trespassers in here.

"Don't suppose you know what she's saying," I ask the guy named Gordon, not really expecting anything. "She just asked us what the hell where doing in here swimming with the clones," was the guys somewhat subdued answer. I swear that he looks like he is recognizing this woman.

1. "Akari Yui-san?" Freeman ventures, looking like he's resigned to the situation for the moment.

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