Crossed wires and mixed nuts

"The . . .person we had to deal with in order to do the revealing is someone you should understand just WHY we're rather annoyed with everything right now," I sigh. "Does the name Jar Jar Binks ring a bell?"

“Are you serious?” I ask, blinking. By the way I feel and the look that this young gray woman is giving me, I know that the blood must have rushed out of my face (leaving me pale). “He’s here, on Alderaan!?”

”Yep,” Chiana says, nodding in a short, terse manner. “Yet another departure from script, this time a VERY unwelcome one!”

. . .

Right. I remember them making a few jokes about how regretful that someone named Lucas--the person who . . . made that "movie" which seems to follow life here in my world TOO well--had not done the good deed of having place some Gungan on Alderaan, wiping him out for all time! A small blessing in what otherwise was a total senseless act of state sponsored terrorism. . .

Had been too tired to connect the dots before meditating on the Falcon (had been a VERY trying night, when the Doctor and his friends paid me a visit back on Tantoonine). Had thought that it had been an EXTREMELY tacky joke which I would have address later on, on my own. Afterwards? Well, when the Falcon had been fired upon (a warning shot TOO close for comfort) and I found myself . . . ."transmatted" onto a Droid Army ship?!

Is not like I had trivial things like that joke in my mind, shall we say! Now? I do so VERY much understand the sentiments of the joke, even IF I still question the less than tactful . . .

Sigh.

. . .

How DID these droids come upon such technology? Transmats? I was told of a graveyard of ships which Inquirer said had similar qualities to some place called the Bermuda Triangle (where ever or whatever that was) . . .

Ah, yet another thing to work out! So many mysteries still surround these strangers (who have found themselves faulted into the limelight).

But all that said, we have Jar Jar . . . and I wish I had known before I inadvertently inflicted his presence upon this young woman and her friends! Can see they have an almost violent antipathy towards Jar Jar Binks. . . which may simmer over into just plain violence if that Gungan should be most unfortunate.

Gods and goddess help Binks if he should even think to touch that Key that the Doctor has been fixing and fiddling with on and off during this busy week!

That . . . Gungan has that effect on people, I fear and . . . yes. Jar Jar could be . . .er . . .something of an unwelcome departure to these strangers at that. While usually I should say that I would NOT care to be pinned down by some-some "script" which foretells how my life WILL play out (at least with "prophesies", while I have learn to grow leery of THOSE at least on the positive there is enough leeway to feel like one is not stuck in lockstep).

. . .

By the Force, if I should never again have to speak to that bumbling idiot it would be TOO soon! Oh, I always tried to be most polite towards that . . . that. . .

. . .

I . . .do not wish to see him again. Oh, his bumbling in and of itself is . . . annoying but forgivable BUT through him, in the end it was HIS vote that brought Palpatine into the position he desired which . . .

. . .

In the end soon enough meant the downfall of all my brethren Jedi except Master Yoda. Yes, yes the man played us all (both the Republic and the Separatists) but still . . .

. . .

Center yourself, Kenobi and stop letting your mind go off on bloody tangents!!

Chiana

The old Jedi takes a deep breath, as if centering himself after the news of Jar Jar Binks, and then . . . .

"I had not been aware of Jar Jar's continued existence," he begins sincerely. "Much less of the fact that he would somehow have ended up on this planet and be inflicted upon US for such an important matter! And for that I do apologize because of that to you and your friends. If necessary I shall go to each one and apologize personally, but rest assured that his presence IS a most unexpected . . . and undesired."

"Frankly, I am at a TOTAL loss as why he should be the go between between the people who shall distribute the films far and wide and us," Kenobi goes on. "Is almost like . . . that firm I was told was most friendly with the Rebel Alliance . . . ."

Or as Inquirer keeps on insisting on calling 'em: the Old Republic loyalists. Heh, she DOES so very much like calling the Imperials "You Rebel Scum!" for some reason. Think it has something to do with the fact that--something that she only shared with US Champions via mindspeak--she actually LIKED playing Imperial characters in her early roleplaying career over Rebels and . . . I THINK she liked using THAT particular line most of all.

. . .

Strange that Inquirer would like playing the villian but then again she said it was a nice departure from the norm (and only play).

Whatever, Kenobi is continuing.

" . . . Almost an insult, really!" the Jedi finishes, shaking his head. "I AM going to get to the bottom of this if you have not already given those movies to Binks--something I would totally understand considering his tendencies and . . ."

"Heh," I laugh a little bit. "Actually just seconds right AFTER Jar Jar showed up to pick up the movies and finish out our little transaction a second representative came up behind him, running."

Going on to explain I tell the old man that Jar Jar being sent our way had been an embarrassing oversight on the firm's part. It seems, unlike whatever you may have read or seen in the Star Wars franchise, that THIS particular Jar Jar had really come DOWN in the world after that debacle in the Old Republic Senate. Was now nothing more than a glorified "delivery boy" and only that because there were jobs out there that were low priority. Even IF that guy klutzed it up, the loss would not effect anything important.

Basically, Jar Jar had been put out to pasture by Leia's foster parents into a place were it had been HOPED that he would be able to cause no more damage. Yeah, would have been MUCH safer to just cut that thing loose and be done with him (i.e. can the freak), but a sense of obligation . . .

Well, the long short some signals got crossed and the wrong person got sent (i.e. Binks). The whole incident, I admit, could have been handled better by myself in the end . . .but I just HAD to get a parting shot in. Binks had been MOST insulted that we loudly INSISTED that the other messenger handle the items over HIM.

Do believe that he'd grown rather . . . bitter over his lot in life, but that said his last response to my barb was . . . . childish. I mean the last time I ever used THAT gesture on someone was back when I had to help my brother Nerri cinch up his shoes!!

The response that Elrondir and Inquirer gave BACK to Binks in the way of rebuttle . . .

Earlier...

"Right face!" barked out Elrondir, perfect drill instructor voice in play.

Both he and Inquirer, veterans from the Military, follow actions to words, facing the blinking idiot known as Jar Jar Binks (tongue still hanging out rather stupidly, forgotten after waving his hands at them after giving the raspberry).

"Present SENTIMENTS!" Elrondir blares out which was followed by an almost parade ground perfect . . .

. . .

Being that some gestures and insults did NOT ever found there way into this reality this . . . "flipping of the bird" was something new under the sun.

However, the sentiments were clear enough indeed to guess that those . . . fertility gesture were NOT meant in good spirits.

The Doctor and Sigin are still chiding both for that display, anyway, Chiana will bet good money upon . . .

Chiana

As polite and proper as Inquirer and Elrondir are most of the time ya can sometimes be surprised by the turns they take, I tell myself, still chuckling a little bit at the slightly obscene display of temper they'd given Binks.

Oh, I guess that we could have done better but then again that guido . . .

Nevermind, we don't have to worry about it any more AND that guy ain't very popular even in THIS reality (word got out about what he'd done). Not like our opponents in the newly reconvened Senate will rally behind Binks and . . .

Well, I am glad that we are leaving soon from this place. AK-47 has made strides in laying down some political reforms but I fear that an uphill battle will be before that war droid in some of her reforms, soon enough.

That a previously . . . well, defunct institute should be able to be resurrected (and somewhat reformed to avoid old mistakes) is . . . almost magical to this dragon girl here, but still . . .

That Inquirer, at the bequest of AK-47, had given that address to the droid community (with ALL her wards, mechanical and magical, down so all of 'em would recognize her for who she was . . . due to some kind of prophetic dren earlier given by AK-47 in prior eulogies) . . .was pushing the limits at how much we should get involved in foriegn, alternate reality politics.

Then again, I guess what had happened afterwards was . . . inevitable anyhow. The Droid Army had hoped to avoid it, but in the end it was becoming apparent that a relatively bloodless coup to take OVER the Empire (and then reform) was doomed to failure. Prior attempts had (if not their origins) had been discovered and put down most lethally. What Inquirer and AK-47 are now hoping for is that THIS move would shorten the Rebellion drastically. Indeed, the Empire is STILL reeling from the loss of not only the first Death Star but it's prototype (which, by the way, allowed for the Rebellion to have enough clout to get away with . . . annexing break away star systems).

The loss of droid labor had been a BIG (and wholly unexpected) blow to the Empire which had been somewhat mitigated by the Emperor's emergency measures of . . . unleashing massive amounts of "flash grown" clones to take up the slack.

. . .

Gross. Did I ever tell you I have this thing about clones?

Nevermind. Just glad that that dren technology was useful in growing limbs and stuff to replace the things lost on the Princess over there back on the Death Star. Hate to think how much cybernetics would have had to be used to . . . put her right. Otherwise the world she's eventually gonna have to wake up to would be all the more disorienting to face. The loss of limbs, to be replaced by mechanical (even though realistic) parts would be . . . a blow fortunately we were--though the tech garnered by the droids here from that graveyard . . . some of it the new "Star Trekkie" tech from MIA ships--avoid.

. . .

Hey! If cloning is good enough for these people to make soldiers to fight in their stead (to be slaughtered like animals so THEY don't have to worry) then I don't see why we cannot just clone parts of people so they can live normal lives and THERE!

Freller.

. . .

"Well, it is taken care of if nothing else so there," I finish off. "At least it wasn't as bad as it could have been worse! Do not think that even Master Yoda could have taken it if Jar Jar should have somehow gotten into his head that . . ."

"Messa wanna be a Jedi," Elrondir had once joked, imitating that idiot Binks while shuddering. Hadn't understood at the time what the big deal was but now I DO!

So does Kenobi by the way HE shudders at the thought of Jar Jar having a lightsaber and access to the Force!

Whatever else would have been said is interrupted by the Doctor and the rest of the gang as they come into the room. The Timelord has a look of relief in his face as he holds up the Key (which is now something like three times it's orignal size due to the work arounds and replacements we had to use to get it back to right).

1. "It is time," he says simply.

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