Egon and Jankle - The Scooby Doo Episode

You sit up, realising as you do so that the back of your head is throbbing; no doubt from your fall when you fainted. As you do so Egon tells you to take it easy; he will return in a minute as soon as he has put on the next record.

You watch Egon as he scampers back to the turntable and pulls out an unusually large disk pressed on snot-green vinyl. You soon discover that it is the extended version of "The Final Countdown" by Europe; this version featured the band counting down from one hundred thousand to zero before the music started and lasted approximately 30 hours. This gives Egon more than enough time to return to you, pausing first only to retrieve a bag of frozen fishguts from the deep freeze, which he applies to the back of your head.

"But Egon, I thought you were dead!" you wince as the frozen bag is thrust against your skull.

"Oh no, not me!" Egon responds, "I never lost control. Well, apart from my bladder."

Sure enough, the front of his pants now features a large, steaming damp patch.

Only now do you notice that lying behind Egon, clearly quite dead, is - another Egon. Noticing you noticing this, Egon calmly walks over to the corpse and starts tugging at the face. The "face" comes off in Egon's hands, to reveal - Yankle.

Egon notices your startled expression and explains: Yankle had come to your house that morning disguised as Egon, intending to kill the real Egon when he arrived and thereafter pass himself off as Egon. However Egon had got wind of this and had surprised Jankle by dressing as Jankle. This had crucially given Egon the advantage in the ensuing fight to the death because Jankle was invisible.

By the end of this explanation you have started to saw your left foot off with a rusty hacksaw blade. Why?

1. some jam had gotten onto your sandals
2. you are just bored
3. you have discovered that you aren't really "you" at all: you are someone else in disguise . . .
4. subliminal messages from the music are making you do it

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