A New Story Forms Out Of The Aether.
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 59415
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The Center Of All Realities had many things. It had the Temporal Police, who save more lives before nine a.m. then most planets have people. It had the Crosstime Plants, which held every known type of plant, from the Aaalston Trunk, which sang only bawdy songs, to the ZZleston Plants, which was sexually attracted to blueprints. It had the Tower To The Stars, the most magnificent non-denominational cathedral in seventy thousand realities. At the very top, the abslute highest point of the tower (somewhere to the left of the middle) is a single use toilet, with a stack of dirty magazines and the kind of soap that makes you sneeze. It had the Everything Zoo, which didn't have every animal ever but had most, including thirteen species of fictional armadillos and one giraffe that ate your memories of last Tuesday (the giraffe wasn't allowed out on a Tuesday). It also had George Simmons High School. Nobody knew who George Simmons was, but he founded a fantastic high school. (Current rumour was that George once was a transvestite hooker. Not prostitute, trans rug-maker.) George Simmons high school was designed for humanoids, but it had a few extras. The art teacher was an abstract collection of algebraic concepts, born from a worked on chalkboard left alone in it's own mathematical quantum a bit too long. One of the guidance counselers used to be the second incarnation of the God Of All Cats. He was fired from his post for making it an ineffable, unalterable cosmic law that all cat puke lands on carpet, no matter how much tile exists in the cat's territory. Some say this doesn't apply in all cases of cat yark but no known documentation of tile-barf exists. One of the students, Mal Kiv, used to the anger the people felt towards the incompetent king, Louis The Falling Down A Lot. Once personified, Mal kicked the king in the nadgers, drank heroic amounts of Scotch and vomited half of it back up on several historical documents concerning law, ethics and gastro-intestinal illnesses. But humanoid ruled. And then one day, there was a vanishing. It took place at 8:45 am. Straight B student Arlin Spectre was grabbed by his antlers and dragged into a locker. There was not enough space for Arlin in locker 344, especially since his antlers were wider, in width and length, then the locker opening itself. Nevertheless, in he went. The second vanishing was kind of lucky. Mitch Smithson wasn't supposed to be at that school. He wasn't supposed to be out of prison. But here he was. With a knife. Then something with too many fingers (even for George Simmons High) reached out of Pool B and got his face. Mitch didn't even have time to stab. His knife was found in Pool A, by several visiting kindergartners. Ten years later, it would save the life of a blind girl by falling off a skyscraper at terminal speed and shattering a skull. But that was later. Mr. Fog entered the fifth floor men's restroom, peed in the sink, took a smoke (and simultaneous dump) in the handicapped stall and just never came out.
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Lots42
6/10/2006 7:15:21 PM
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