Can't We All Just Get Along?
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 57816
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Dan did most of the talking as they forged on ahead through the dark,
dank caves. Though no one else said anything, there seemed to be
an unspoken
agreement amongst the others that this Dan fellow was a little bit
full of himself, and carrying more than his fair share of emotional
baggage. He was one of those people who has too little to
say, with far too many words. The conversation had been completely one
sided for the last thirty-minutes. But what were they going to do? Allies
were hard to come by down here... “And that’s why I had to end the relationship,” Dan was saying. “I mean, what about my needs? What about my feelings? Carol never understood me. She never got me, you know? And that stupid cat of hers. I know, I know, it may sound crazy, but I swear sometimes I felt she loved that mangy little flea-bitten fur-ball more than she loved me...” Finally, the wizard had had QUITE enough, and with a mystical waggling of his boney fingers, a twitch of his beaky nose, and a slight tilt of his head, the grating sound of Dan’s voice was silenced.Fred breathed in a sigh of utter relief. “Thank you. I didn't want to say anything, but something really needed to be done.” Usually he distrusted magic-users, but this Wizard of Kamiro was really turning out be a valuable ally - despite his abrasive personality and the fact that he reeked of sulphur. Velus nodded his agreement.Nomino cracked his knuckles and shrugged. “No biggie. Now, he doesn’t know we can’t hear him, so just nod your heads from time to time as if you can. Or don’t. I honestly don’t care.” Lord Fred winked knowingly. “Gotcha.”And so, without further ado, our heroes, or whatever the Hell they are, pressed onward... Soon enough, the tunnel finally branched in three different directions. The foursome paused. Dan’s lips even quit moving.The sorcerer stroked his beard thoughtfully as he took in the situation. “Hmmm...” Fred turned to Velus. “I thought you said the tunnel kept going straight? Have you ever even been this way before?”Velus shrugged indifferently. “Even if I had, the caves are enchanted and constantly changing.” “The little boy’s right,” Nomino concurred. “All of you...STAND BACK!!!!!!!”Ever heard of the word ‘please’? thought Fred, ruefully. Little boy, indeed. I’m not a little boy! Why just last week I sprouted three pubes! mused Velus.Carol doesn’t know what she lost when she lost me. We could have had something special. At least she has that stupid cat. I hope they have a happy life together... reflected Dan. The wizard reached into a pouch attached to his belt and pulled out what looked to be a regular old stone (at least to the untrained eye), which he then gingerly pressed against his forehead. Next, he began to chant, in monotone, “Om, Om, Om, Om, Om...”Fred nudged Velus and whispered in his ear, “What a bunch of rubbish.” This went on for about five minutes until finally Nomino seemed satisfied. He turned to the others with a look of steely resolve in his big, round, bulbous eyes. “The stone says we should go right. Still, someone should stay behind just to be safe. You see, one of the weaknesses in the dragon’s magic is that it only works when no one is looking. That is, the tunnels can only shift form and seal themselves up if no one is around to witness it. Fred, you stay behind.”Fred was incredulous! “WHAT!?” he gasped in astonishment. “Now look here, you! I’ve put up with enough of your shenanigans for one day! I was willing to take the rest of your nonsense in stride, but this is the final straw! I am on a sacred Quest given to me by the King himself, you hear me!? I am the most valiant warrior in all of the lands. I have proven myself again and again throughout my entire life, just to be given the mantle of ‘Dragonslayer’. I have worked for this too hard and I will not, I shall not, let some gray-bearded old bastard who smells like rotten eggs push me around like I’m some kind of two-bit commoner!” The wizard Nomino did an unexpected thing then...he laughed! “Okay,” he remarked offhandedly. “Dan, you stay.”Dan shrugged. “Okay. Just make sure you come back for me!” But of course nobody heard him.So Fred, Velus, and Nomino ditched Dan and took the passage to the right. Before long they encountered...
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3/30/2006 8:53:28 AM
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