Stabby

"No," said Astra. "Trust me. It wouldn't be right, and you'd regret it as soon as you regained your senses."

"Are you sure I'd regret it?"

"Yes, I'm certain."

"Oh." He paused. "Even with him?"

Yes, even with him. Now sit down." Alexis grumbled but did as her sister told.

"You can go ahead and kill me, you know," said Robert. "You aren't taking me seriously. I need to demonstrate that you should take me seriously."

"If you want us to take you seriously, stop acting like an idiot," said Astra.

"But I really am immortal! Really! Fred, don't you trust me?"

Fred had decided to stay out of this particular argument, but he could no longer hold back his annoyance at Robert and the way he'd treated the women. "No!" said Fred. "You are a liar, a thief, and a pervert!"

"Pervert? Me? You were the one who was trying to pick up a woman in a man's body!"

"I wasn't trying to pick her up! And she is not a woman in a man's body!" said Fred, angrily. "She was a turned into a woman by the Terminus Curse, the only known spell which can accomplish this, which is completely irreversible. According to Allarian canon law, she should be considered as a woman. Besides, you were trying to pick her up too, you filthy hypocrite!"

"...Oh, right, yes," said Robert sheepishly. "Well... look, why can't you trust me when I say I'm immortal? Would I lie to you?"

"Yes," said everyone else on the ship in unison.

"All right, fine, be that way," he said. He then grabbed the wooden sword out of Fred's pack and before anyone could stop him stabbed himself in the chest. "See! I just stabbed myself! And I'm not dead! I'm not--" He collapsed to the floor in exhaustion. The others were momentarily rendered speechless. "Hurry, quick!" Astra finally said. "Fred, do you have first aid supplies?"

"You don't need any first aid supplies!" shouted Robert. "I'm not dead! Just get this stupid sword out of my chest!"

"You're the one who put it there," said Alexis. But she reluctantly bent over to pull it out before Astra stopped her. "No, don't pull it out!" she said.

"She's right," said Fred. "That will only tear away blood vessels and increase the wound damage."

"You mean I'm going to have to walk around with this thing in my chest until it heals?" said Robert. His voice was not noticeably any weaker.

"If you keep distracting us before we think of what to do you're going to die!" shouted Astra.

"No I won't. I really am immortal," said Robert.

1. "I really am--oh bugger." He drops dead.
2. The others suddenly realize that his wound is already healing.

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