Rock Daddy

Stately, majestic he rises from the cavern floor and thrusts upwards, his calcium accumulations dripping in a manner which can only be described as paternal.

"Daddy!" you shout joyfully, running over and giving him a big hug.

"Daddy" doesn't react, just as you knew he wouldn't.

"Oh Daddy this is the best day of my life!" you gush, hugging him tighter and ever tighter until

1. there is a loud snapping sound and you discover you have removed Daddy from the cavern floor
2. you realise that "Daddy" is an impostor: your real father was a stalactite, not a stalagmite
3. you remember that you always hated Daddy

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