Dumb and Dumberer

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 54653

Young Astra stared in shock. Older Astra was shocked too, but not for the same reason. She remembered this day. She didn't exactly remember an older version of her appearing out of mid-air but she did remember that right after she put on the purple and green bracelets her younger self wore (and she herself still had) the door to the bedroom had burst open and something horrible came inside.
Astra's instincts, honed by years of battle, had her leap. She ended up behind the privacy screen. The door burst open. Wooden splinters shot everywhere. Through the crack in the screen, Astra saw her younger self raise her arms lower her head. Good girl. Several wooden splinters sunk into Young Astra's arms. Older Astra couldn't help but look. She still had the scars, all these years later.
Into the room stepped something horrible.

  1. The Dark Magician Mallefactory.
  2. George, her idiot ex-boyfriend with the stolen magic book and the spell to increase his virillity. Young Astra punched his teeth in.
  3. A roiling mass of darkness, which was not the assassin that had -almost- killed her mother that dark day.
  4. The assassin that had -almost- killed her mother that dark day.
  5. All of Astra's ex boyfriends, all seven, brought here by hired mercenary mages working for the Dragon.
  6. The cook, drunk and carrying a pot of Living Porridge. In seconds, the Porridge eats the cook's head.
  7. The Living Turd.
  8. All of Astra's girl friends (including superstrong Gerta, who had knocked), singing Happy Birthday, with Happy Hoagie's Headbands. Astra had always thought Happy Hoagie was a horrible place to go to for a birthday.

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Lots42

7/16/2007 4:11:24 PM

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