Fred The First Mate

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 54608

Fred became the First Mate in order to discourage Lots from real evil.
Which was kind of easy, as blood did stain the ginghams so and the screams of dying crewmen made the ferrets in the Ferret Deck jumpy and sad and Polly 3 (a bird) poop way too much to be healthy.
But a pirate is a pirate and one day the Murderhorn was full sails ahead, heading straight for a ship full of supplies for Quontestor, an island nation that needed food and medicine. Food and medicine which would go for a LOT of money in Hespan.
Fred despaired.

  1. Push Lots overboard.
  2. Threaten the life of Polly 3, even as she pooped all over his head.
  3. Shoot the ferrets out of the cannon. This causes Lots to mentally break down.
  4. Sing a show tune in an attempt to make Lots not cause suffering to innocent men, women, children and fluffy bunnies.
  5. Unable to deal with the situation, Fred snaps and hangs himself with some macrame rope.
  6. Fred invents diplomacy and the other ship agrees to give up a fouth of it's cargo in exchange for the crew not dying or being treated to paintings of Lots's vacation in the Floating Isles.

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3/3/2006 12:31:52 PM

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