Saddam Shares More Friendly Advice
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 48342
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“When torturing a political enemy,” Saddam rambles on, “always make sure
to verify the person you are torturing is actually who you think it is. I
had an embarrassing situation once, way back in ‘86. I thought I was
placing the Iranian Minister of Defense in a vat of acid when in fact it
was just a tourist from El Salvador.” He chuckles sadly. “Boy didn’t I
look foolish when I found out the man hadn’t been lying when he
confessed ‘he didn’t know anything’.” Fred, Josh, and Scott just stare at him blankly. “Also,” the Iraqi continues, “make sure that when you hide your WMDs that you write down on a piece of paper where you hid them. I swear, I’ve lost more anthrax and mustard gas due to my old forgetful memory. They’ll probably turn up in some obscure village centuries from now...”“Any tips on dating?” Fred finds himself asking. Saddam scratches his scrubby beard as he ponders the question. “Well, just the basics,” he concludes. “Make sure you murder the girl’s entire family when you kidnap her, and....just to be on the safe and thorough side, it doesn’t hurt to destroy her village as well.”Scott nods and scribbles something in a notebook he stole from a Wal- Mart, then launches his own question:
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1/10/2005 10:11:24 AM
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