I speak, You speak, He/She/It speaks

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 4798

"Oh boy, I think we might want to go now."

Fred stared at his cursed FlameLight sword. "No way," he said to the sword, meanwhile the eight-and-a-half-foot-tall two-headed wolf-thinge with really big claws took a step towards Fred.

"Whadya mean 'no way'!" cried out the sword. "I'm not gonna fight that thinge!"

Fred smiled. "Sure you are." The nine-foot-tall monster took another step closer.

"Listen you tin-brained, rock-headed knight!" whined the sword. "I already told you, no fights, not from me, no sir!"

"Then we can both see what this monster does to swords that don't do anything," smirked Fred. As he placed the sword on the ground in front of him, as he took three steps backwards, the nine-and-a-half-foot-tall creature took yet another step forward.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" cried out the sword, its metal glowing fierce with heat. "I don't wanna diiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!" and he started crying! (tears of liquid metal that is). MWAWHWAHWAWAWAA!! It cried. "I'm too young to die! I've only existed for five dumb minutes - FIVE - DUMB - MINUTES!!!!!" The ten-foot- tall creature was standing over the weeping sword.

"Really?"

The voice came from the monster. Head Number One.

"And I thought you were an heirloom." Head Number Two.

The sword ctopped crying, it was amazed. "You talk?" said the sword.

"Of course we do," said the two-headed monster. "Is that so unbelievable?"

"Well...." said the sword. "It's just that I never met a two-headed, talking monster that was, uh, um... ten-and-a-half feet tall."

"Ya know, we get that a lot," said Head Number One.

"STOP!!!" that came from Fred. "What is going on here? Why don't you smash the sword? crush it? grind it with your claws? bite it with your fangs? STEP ON IT for crying out loud?!!?"

"Why would we do that?" Head Number Two.

"Yes, that would be so uncivil." Head Number One.

"This is insane" muttered Fred and walked away while the two-headed monster conversed at greater length with the cursed FlameLight sword.

  1. Fred now has nothing with which to kill the Dragon and the Mage is nowhere to be seen...

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4/5/2003 9:10:53 AM

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