Drunk on the Moon

Our man of the hour nervously eyed the staircase room with its hastily rearranged furniture concealing the bodies of Scott and Todd. Haphazardly stacked cases of Febreze serve as "end tables". And now, Josh had just killed the same girl, a little cutie named Krissy from three floors down, twice.

Josh knew nothing about Krissy aside from the fact that he heard about Scott having an affair with her some time ago while her boyfriend was out of town. It caused a minor scandal across the staircase room, but everyone soon moved on. What Burbank didn't know was that just two days earlier, Krissy and Scott had finally become a legitimate item after keeping things secret for well over two years.

But that wasn't important. What was important were the four dead bodies on the floor of the staircase room, and how two of them were of the same chick. Josh Burbank knew who he had to call. Loudly dropping his lead pipe onto the floor, he quickly dove into his pocket to retrieve his trusty Verizon cellular phone. He quickly dialed a certain number that he had dialed so many times before.

But something was wrong. Instead of the other party picking up after the first ring, a prerecorded message was heard after fifteen seconds:

Hi, this is Bill Murray, and I can't make it to the phone right now. You know the drill, leave your name and number along with a brief message, and I'll get back to you. That is, unless you're Josh Burbank, who can kindly FUCK OFF. Have a good one! [Beep!]

Josh left an incoherent and stammering message that vaguely seemed to be about "betrayal" and other related topics. Finally after five minutes of this, Murray's voicemail cut off.

Looking around the staircase room nervously, Josh asked "Okay, what do I do now?"

1. Josh goes home.
2. Scott climbs back in through the window.
3. Krissy returns, again under the influence of NEQ. She doesn't take long to comment about the two dead Krissys on the floor.
4. Bill Murray calls back, apologetic for the tone of his message.
5. Bill Murray calls back to personally tell Josh to never bother him again.
6. The ceiling falls in.

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