Somewhere Over the Wormhole . . .

Trillian

The laws of physics can't change. Yes, I have seen much that I've seen while with my two headed boyfriend that I had never dreamed of. Seen lot that I would have never thought possible with my degree in physics, but I had always believed that if given the chance I'd be able to cipher it out. Definitely nothing of the magnitude of what these . . . rather competent strangers said just in passing?

. . .

It would be the biggest headlines of the millennia if-if I actually take that journalist job.

Hey, a girl has to look after herself and . . . I'm beginning to have my doubts about Zaphod here. I mean he's been fun but I'm beginning to have doubts about anything long term with him.

He's . . . kind of beginning to look like something of a flake.

. . . .

It seems very strange that these strangers (especially the leader, Artizza) hasn't been taken in by Zaphod's charm.

. . .

Artizza actually called him slimy? She'd muttered that off to the side and I'm sure she hadn't wanted anyone to hear. Anyway, these "Champions" (whatever that exactly is supposed to be). . . .

They all sure are glaring at him now, let me tell you.

"I said we'd eat after I thread the wormhole," Cuthbert Allgood (where had I heard that name before . . . somewhere in college I'd almost swear. Something about towers and poetry?) says softly. "Now sit."

Zaphod backs slowly away from where he'd tapped Cuthbert on the shoulder while he'd been going through a rather . . . involved.

. . .

Yes, Zaphod difinetly is looking more and more like a flake every day here to me and less and less like a good time . . .

Well, at elast he's been good enough to rescue me from Arthur Dent back at that one party so long ago and get me off planet before . . .

. . .

But then again didn't Cuthbert say something about the Earth still being around? Not like that I want to GO back to that speck after having seen the universe, but still . . .

. . .

"Well, I guess we have left the HHG plot behind at that," Solomon mutters, waving something that I'd swear was like a tricorder from that cheesey Amarican scifi show: Star Trek. "Signature's all different from back there!"

There they go again. Acting like this had been from some kind of strange scifi book, it almost seems like.

. . .

"What IS with all the joggers?" Arthur blinks, pointing at the gawking crowd.

If it wasn't for the green skin and antennas coming out of their foreheads, it would be a scene out of somewhere from Earth, really.

"As for the joggers I'll leave it to you who they are and what they're doing there (besides gapping at the new ship in their midst)," Artizza says. "We need to get OUT of here, right?"

"Maybe it's a cruiseline vacation for overweight people trying to get back into shape in high style?" Cuthbert quips, making an adjustment. "Whatever, here we go! As Eddie Dean would say: 'Up, up and away!'"

Oh please. . .!

Sigh! Well, to the chase.

We go up back into the sky (ignoring orders from authorities over the radio to land and be boarded), out into the edge of space and back down the wormhole these strangers (should I say Cuthbert has a knack) have a knack of finding.

And back down in the gullet of the wormhole we had before, coming upon a nexus of tunnels (one which leads back to Earth by what they tell me) when trouble again visits us. Cuthbert get more than a little distracted this time, though.

Marvin's just reactivated himself, but he's gone insane! Smoke coming out of his head, logic circuits frying!!

"Redrum!! Redrum!!" he screams, lurching towards Cuthbert and the others.

"Oh my GOD!!" I scream as our ship tumbles down blindly a tunnel to only Heaven knows where! But bugger that, we've got an insane ROBOT on our . . .

Joan, without even blinking, draws and fires her sidearm and . . .

Marvins . . . gone in a flash of red light? Oh . . . God . . . Those . . .really ARE phasors they're carrying instead of just cutesy renamed killozap guns!

Joan 2

I am SO glad that I've been keeping up with target practice! I say to the others.

It would have been so very BAD to hit the ship's walls with phasor on disintigrate! I LIKE not sucking vacuum, thanks!

Then again if that amok robot hit the controls and tumbled us through the wormhole wall the sudden entry into normal space would tear us to tiny pieces due to speed differentials . . .

I had no CHOICE so don't judge me.

All said though . . .

That's about the time the wormhole turbulance (or whatever) gets REALLY bad and we get thrown about a bit.

This can't be good!

"Cuthbert, where the Hell are we going?" Arthur asks, pointing. "That's the end of the tunnel, right?"

"No sh*t, Sherlock! BRACE!" Cuthbert hsouts. "We're out of control!!"

Seconds later on a world called "Barsoon" . . .

There are no such things as wormholes in this universe. Physics don't have such phenomona in it's volcabulary, you might say. Oh, it's strange enough, but no wormhole things.

Until now. The sky just opened up and this universe is NEVER going to be the same!! It's too alien for a proper translation and some things that we'd find here before now just . . won't work. Some forms of travel (space travel) . . .

Might have the makings of a Long Night here, as some would call it. Others would call it a Dark Age. That is . . . for the short time that . . .

No, that's too much for right now. We'll get to that. Let's just say that Cuthbert's ship will be a REAL hot commodity here soon.

Lots of heads turn as Cuthbert's ship flashs by and creates a sonic boom (yet another thing not ever seen or heard before in this reality). Then a lot of screaming happens as every last floating combat ship on Barsoon . . . comes crashing to the ground. Any future battles shall be a ground affair for now . . .

What is happening very slowly back in the HHG universe is happening at a quicker pace HERE, shall we say. That will mean, eventually, the DEATH of a living planet here soon enough. Something about the radiation from the Sun and Barsoon not having a magnetic pole worth mentionng (if at all) in this reality . . .

Meanwhile Cuthbert will find that the ship would be flyable EXCEPT for the primary drive needing a now very familar looking drive component (what it this, a fugitive from a Star Trek episode). It's kind of like a Dilithium Crystal, but not quiet . . .

Tricorder readings say that a replacement source is in the direction of a settlement that they'd screamed across. It'll turn out that a young woman with a special ring has sufficient quantities . . .

"This is going to be a LONG walk," Zaphod mutters, looking around at the red dessert. "At least the crash suppression system didn't quiet on us, leaving us a smear on the front windshield."

"Seatbelts would have done the same thing," Cuthbert mutters. "Why is it they never put in seatbelts in . . .?"

The rest is lost in the winds that kick up for a moment. Not an issue, because the others are more interested in looking at something.

1. Zaphod and the others then are looking oddly at Cuthbert's group pull out . . . carpets? Throw rugs?

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