The Revenant Crashes the Card Game
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 46019
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Fred, who had never really been that good at Poker, was just about to
fold when the haunting death chants of the Revenant began to grow
steadily louder even amidst the turmoil of the storm. He quickly quaffed
his mug of rum and glanced nervously at Bert and Jack, the fire casting
an eerie glow on their faces. “Is it just me,” he asked them, “or is that
chanting getting louder?” “What’s the matter, Puff?” Bert cackled. “You scared?” Fred straightened up in his seat. “Of course not,” he boldly proclaimed, crossing his arms stubbornly. “I am a Knight of the King’s Realm; invested with the Garter of Tamerlian, protected by the Jockstrap of Jericho and the Righteous Lip-Balm of Visisi, wielder of the Glimmering Broadsword of Sidon the Cleaving-Screamer...”“And yet ye’d trade all o’ those things away if only yer mummy was ‘ere,” the old seaman taunted him. “The Kingsman’s right,” Captain Sparrow interjected, laying down his cards. He crept over to the window and cupped a hand over his ear. “And do you hear that?” A soul-chilling melody met their frosted ears, offsetting the horrible chanting. “It sounds like the Black Lute of Lysuson.” Bert gulped. “That can mean only one thing,” he muttered woefully. “The Warped Sacrament of the Stalking Angel of Secrets has begun.”Captain Jack nodded. “Either that or the Unholy Ritual of the Twelve Enraged Saints.” “It could even be the Blaspheming Seraphims’ Abjuration of the Unspeakable Sin,” Bert added spookily, setting down his cards as well. The thunder continued to rumble ominously. “Or, dare I say, the Evocation of the Six Goddesses of Oblivion.”Jack’s face paled. “The only thing worse than that would be the Inescapable Incantation of the Three Low-Beasts of Forbidden Visions.” Fred began to weep. “Why couldn’t I have just stayed put in Montefort!?” he wondered aloud. “Why did I have to take on this stupid Dragon-Slaying Quest!? I should be at home, nestled by the hearth, reading a romantic novel! I just knew accepting the King’s charge would be the death of me!”Just then someone started pounding on the door to the hovel. Bert squeeled in terror and ducked behind the table. Jack grew fearful as well, and backed away into the corner. “Well, what are you waiting for, Fred?!?” he exclaimed. “Answer it!” “ME!?” Fred roared. “Why don’t you answer it!? I thought you were the brave and renowned ‘Captain Sparrow’!”“Well...you’ve got the sword and armour,” the captain said defensively. Bert’s head poked up from where he was cowering behind the table. “He’s got a point!”“And don’t forget,” Jack went on, “you’ve got the Earring of Artemis. The Revenant respect the legend of the earring, so you’ve got absolutely nothing to fear.” Fred remained doubtful. “How do you know it’s all that special? Just because some old guy gave it to you and fed you some crap-story doesn’t mean a thing. For all I know it’s not even real gold.”“But he was a member of the Cadaverous Brethren of Vic-Hipr! And he even waggled his fingers at me mystically when he gave me it!” Jack cried, the desperation in his voice rising. “And to cement his claim he called upon the Gibbering Wolf of Watagazo. How can you ignore that fact?” The captain had him there. It was a well known fact that old men (especially those of the Cadaverous Brethren) who waggled their fingers mystically would never lie, and their intentions could never be questioned. And to call upon the Gibbering Wolf only made it more certain that the man had spoken truth. The pounding continued as Fred made his choice...
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Lost Soldier
9/30/2004 10:16:23 AM
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