The Ka-Tet Offensive . . .

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 45991

Cuthbert

That is AFTER we get the ship past the automated planetary defenses, which the mice will see to (we HOPE). . .

Later. . . .

Joan 2

"Excellent," my husband says softly, looking at a spot we'd just flown past. "No whales and exploding flower pots who cry 'Not again!' Maybe if we can break that cycle of life/death then we can succeed where the 'heroes' in the book fell."

I'll have to ask him sometime later tonight what exactly he means by that. Having never read the Hitchhiker series I don't have clue one as what that just meant, exactly. What events he's remembering from those books we'd heard him tell us of, though, sounds strange indeed!

Whatever the case, the furry beasts (after that betrayal they'd attempted they'll be untrustworthy beasts in my eyes forevermore) manage to make some kind of connection with the now sulky defense computers on the other end (they'd been looking for some action to relieve the boredom).

Soon upon landing in a spot of nothing which, to my eyes, has nothing at all to distinguish itself from another spot of nothingness on this barren looking planet. Upon landing we are greeted by an old man who looks a bit . . . out of sorts.

From what he says after greeting us unexpected folks leads me to believe that he's not too happy with the cancellation orders that the mice made whilst still in orbit. He'd been so very much looking forward to creating MORE fjords (his award winning specialty). He'd also been rather disturbed to have heard of his original work of art having been destroyed by the Vogon (five minutes away from the completion of the project)!

Behind him are a bunch of younger looking folks with a certain air to them. That air of "lawyer" hangs about them like a shroud, somehow . . .

Well, don't WE just have some good news to share with him and his "friends" AFTER the mice leave.

With minimum of formality and manners (almost none to speak of), the mice with ill humor have the lawyers draw up a binding contract (which all of us the brightest and best minds of the group in "lawyering" read and see it's up to snuff). All that it takes now for the funds to be transferred to ownership to US of the just purchase "common shares" (accounting talk for a type of equity purchase which purchases rights to profits AND control, dependant upon how much is purchased), only one thing needs be done.

"Alright human," one of the mice snaps. "Do you're consulting, if you can! Make the question palpable for us, now."

"You have the question?" the old man gasps, surprised.

We hadn't told him about who and what we are. Hadn't told him about Arthur and what he'd revealed.

We wave him off, concentrating on the mice for the moment. So my husband takes the task at hand . . .

And my! Does my husband shine!!

Cuthbert

"Okay mice," I smile to the furry critters. "Bet you think that the question doesn't work out mathematically, making the entire universe look absurd?"

"You know that," the other mouse (didn't catch or care to catch his name). "Get to the point."

"You're looking at it wrong," I smile (knowing that it's a crock, but still it's what the mice are looking for here). "See, 'What's 9 x 6?', does actually work, so long as you assume that the calculation is carried out in Base 13. (42 in Base 13 = 4x13+2 = 54 = 9x6)!"

THAT catches the mice's attention, let me tell you. Rave about it, they do! That and they keep asking themselves why THEY hadn't seen it before . . .

They're stupid, that's why!!

. . .

No, that's not the reason and that's not fair, but I refuse to think good of those who'd cut open a man's mind for such as they'd attempted with Arthur!

Anyway, changing the equation from Base 10 to Base 13 works, but . . . Well, the trick here I'd just done there is pure drek! I don't know whether sai Douglas Adams had that in mind, or whether it's pure chance that it works out like that. Not for sure, but I'm going to say it's just chance. Don't even have a inkling of a "feeling" in the Dark Tower sense. Nothing at all to do with Ka . . .

Now with the mice away (they've left to their home dimension or whatever, very happy with their product we'd given), the cats like us will play!

First move for the Ka-Tet Corporation (the legal entity we'd created in order to get control of the Hithchhiker's publishing company to KEEP the Vogon's from taking it and using it to destroy the still surviving Earth with the bird I'll call "Two Point Oh") . . . Move one we could be cute and call the "Ka-tet Offensive".

Then again we DO need to get to the restraunt and get what we'd come to get, but this is an interesting (and possibly profitable) side item. Enough to buy a dinner, surely . . .

Anyway, it's a move. Move one against the Vogon by denying them THAT resource (leaving Ford staring at me slack jawed in shock). Maybe he's wondering if he could ask for his backwages? Maybe, but still better to ask than assume? After this we'll speak with the planet builders about whether telemetry from Earth is coming in still...

It could be that once interruptions had occurred they'd stopped listening, but still I'd like to make sure that what I'd read really is the truth here and now. Have a Ka feeling about it, but still . . ..

Ah, first things first!! After that, though, we must convince our two headed "captain" to turn over the Heart of Gold to the authorities. Longer he has it vice them, the longer the Vogon's have to destroy her (and us), stay in business (and finish what they'd started with Earth)! Mabye catch a lift in the old man's ship, the "Bisto-Math" (a ship on par for speed with the Heart of Gold, by the way), to the Restraunt. . . But first thing first!!

"What ails you, my bondsman?" I ask Ford Perfect softly, slipping further into the old "Midworld" lingo, as Eddie would put it.

I've a habit of doing that from time to time, despite all this time. Roland has a habit of doing it more than I do, being so bound in his ways but still . . .

"You look troubled." I observe. "Ill, even. Feel like eating after we're done and gone to the Restraunt?"

"You . . .BOUGHT the Hitchhiker?!" he blinks (amazing that he doest that NOW).

Yep, liked the Guide so much I bought the Company. . . . But jokes aside . . .

Oh yes, he's VERY stunned.

Artizza

Technically, he's MY bondsman since I am party leader and thus fealty and such falls to me, Ford being an employee and such...

However, why be picky right now?

Besides, we have more to worry about when some trigger happy policemen (idiots who's villages are looking for them, to be sure) show their unwelcome faces here . . .

Well, such as life . . .

Not the "Heart", I broadcast warning towards Zaphond while he and Trillian try to sneak away. Maybe some other ship, but not the Heart, poppinjay.

Might have just made an enemy here, but I don't want Zaphod as a friend, anyway. I find him . . . slimey somehow.

Besides, he is an out and out thief (no redeeming excuses like necessity, just greed) and I have little patience for those types . . . Got a feeling for him the little time I spent on the Heart, so I know what I know. Anyway, I couldn't give a solid damn about him, really except . . . Well, let's just say I don't want him running off and leaving us hanging!

Call me strange, okay?

Anyway . . .

I raise a cup of very familiar looking tea in way of explaination as to what I'm getting at whilst my friends roughly kick the phasor stunned policemen awake. The idiots not only had opened up without as much as a warning (endangering everyone about them in the process), but did it in front of LAWYERS. Theses policemen ("sensitive types" Cuthbert calls them later) will REALLY be feeling sensitive after they get raked over the coals for THIS!

Besides, they're out of their jurisdiction (what with the world builder's planet being a legal entity entirely of it's own).

As for Zaphod, he didn't take me in with his "charm". Lets put it bluntly, I do NOT trust this two headed poppinjay at ALL. Just say I it's elfin intuition that lead to me grounding the Heart without it's heart . . . the tea. . .

  1. Movin' right along . . .

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9/27/2004 5:24:32 PM

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