Back at Bert's
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 45879
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An old salt, none other than dirty ol’ Bert the Drunkard - who was doing
a bad job of trying not to act surprised to see Fred standing there -
opened the door, still chewing on the remnants of Fred’s lunch. He tried
to speak but the words (or maybe it was the stale chips) got caught in
his throat and he coughed instead. Fred advanced on the wretch and grabbed him by the neck. “You deceived me!” he raged. “That map was enchanted! It didn’t lead me to a ‘dream of a lifetime’, it took me to a den of angry pirates!” He released his grip on the man. Bert smiled sheepishly. “No need to get violent, Puff,” he said, rubbing his throat. “Maps have a mind of their own, what’s new? Ye just gotta show ‘em whose boss. Be a little rough with ‘em, ya know?”“Oh shut up, you piddling old poop-face!” Fred retorted. “You are so full of it. You probably use this scam on all the would-be dragonslayers that stumble across this pigsty of yours. Why, if I had my armor and my sword I’d...” “Uh, but, uh...” Bert stammered, eyeing Fred appraisingly. “You do have your sword and armor.”Fred examined himself. “Oh. That I do” He adjusted his jockstrap and sighed. “Sometimes these storylines can be a little vague. I mean, I assumed when I got sucked into the underground current in the Dragon’s caves I lost them. I assume too much. I’m the first to admit it.” “It’s okay, Puff,” the old salt consoled him. “A dainty lad like yerself is sure to be a little confused after all ye’ve been through. By the way, I like yer hat.”Right about then Captain Jack, who was feeling left out, cleared his throat. Bert arched an eyebrow. “Whose yer friend?”“Why, surely you recognize me!” Jack declared. “I am the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow, scourge of the Allarian navy, slayer of the dark wizard ‘what’s- his-face’, terror of the southern seas...” Bert shrugged. “Name doesn’t ring a bell.” The tall, brooding palm trees stirred as a chilled wind swept across the darkening beach.“Well, anyway, it’s gettin’ late. ‘Tis said that tonight is one of the nights when the Revenant prowl these beaches in search of victims to sacrifice to their bloodthirsty gods. Why don’t the two of you come in and we can get drunk - or in my case drunker - and play cards.”
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Lost Soldier
9/26/2004 6:40:44 AM
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