Well, they're Vogons! Do you expect us to just ask nicely?

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 44488

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"Are those races, proto-Dark Elves and demifoxes, in the Guide?" he (Ford Perfect) asks. "If not, I expect I can arrange for your inclusion. I'm a researcher for it, you see."

"Well . . . we probably aren't but could we hold off a moment on your research," I hedge. "It would be a good idea to get to safer climes before we do any data entry or such, eh?"

"Oh, right!" Ford nods, seeing the logic of that suggestion.

Though, that doesn't keep him silent for long, I see...

"You must be more hitchhikers," Ford says to us Champions. "Where are you headed for?"

"Milliways," I say. "There's an intelligent shade of blue there we need to chat with. Vitally important, really."

"The Restraunt at the End of the Universe?" Ford whistles, impressed. "When you hitchhike you do aim high!"

He then has an odd look, as if to ask just why he's never heard of my group. He also has a look that (hard to manage two looks at once, but Ford Perfect manages it . . . guess it goes along with the reason why I've YET to see him blink) begs the question that IF we can AFFORD Milliway's, then why in the name of whatever diety (or pantheon of dieties) he believes in are we HITCHHIKING there. On a Vogon ship, no less...

Well, there are several involved answers for each question.

Of COURSE we're not famous. We're not celebrities that Arthur Dent (of course, being stuck on primitive, relatively low tech Earth all his life) or Ford Perfect here have heard of because this is (technically) the first time we've ever stepped foot in this (rather bizarre) reality. Not enough time to make many friends (let alone become famous . . . yet). But I fear that pretty soon SOME people (aka the Vogon in this ship) will remember our names! Fear that unless we want to let them THROW us off the ship (without something called "spacesuits") we'll have to make it an issue that might get ugly (we didn't come . . . . unprepared). It’ll get REALLY ugly REALLY quick here if they insist on reading their poetry, Cuthbert tells me. Why, he didn’t say but told me to trust him. Do NOT sit in and listen to it if you can avoid it at all costs! More on that and other things in a bit...

Stop looking at me like that. We'd not come here to play highway men and. . .

No, wait a bit, okay. Trust me!!

As for currency, we brought comodities along that can be useful to invest in some kind of interstellar banking system now (like say a penny or some other small currency unit) and the magic of compounding interest will help pay for our meal later.

Hitchhike all the way there instead of a more . . . direct (and perhaps expensive) way? Well, first the means to the restraunt lay in Ford Perfect. He is theonly alien Vincent had found on Earth we knew before hand (a bit of time travel knowledge crept up while Manfox Fred chatted away with that shade of blue at Milliways) which WOULD be able to get to the Restraunt. Whether we continue to hitchhike after we hire him (I hope he's for hire) to lead us remains an open question. Whether or not we can do something besides hitchhike is an open question, really. Shall have to see here in a moment . . .

Besides, another bit of "sneak peek" gossip the blue entity had drop was the splash in the news about WHAT kind of ship had/will have rescued some ship called "The Heart of Gold" due to some kind of Drive problems.

That's us (their rescuers), if WE have any say in the matter!

Cuthbert had said that it was the place to go if you were anyone in this universe. Also VERY expensive. If this stupid gimmick works -- or should I say that the universe at large allows it to work -- then we BETTER be considered not only rich but famous for having pulled that one off...

Or if that one penny scam falls through there is the "Smith and Wesson" financial plan. If we are really lucky here in a bit (i.e. not too much bloody battle and collateral damage) we might be able to find a used spaceship salesman and . . . Kind of depends on the Vogons here on how they react whether we’ll be justified in the end. Cuthbert tells me these gits are the type that’ll make it justified, shall we say...

Also, he’d mentioned he’d wanted to do more than just buy a meal . . .

No, in a bit . . . Has something to do with securing the Earth's future from some kind of bird that Cuthbert kind of glossed over. Some kind of avian fiend he nicknamed "Mark 2" or something like that.

See, Cuthbert had mentioned that later on in the series though the Earth's people didn't die (despite appearances to the contrary), it's not out of the woods yet. It's a reprieve...

Ready weapons. Hear a set of steel toed boots in the distance, searching for US at a guess...

Arthur and Ford and blinking at the sudden display at hardware.

"You came prepared I see," Ford says in a neautral voice, not sure what to make about that. Seems like cheating, almost. Usually he made due with wits and his towel in hitchhiking, I’m sure.

Then again, he’d managed to get himself stuck on Earth for over a decade (Cuthbert kind of skimmed over that part).

"Would you rather have them read you their ‘lovely’ poetry before throwing you off the ship?" Cuthbert says softly

"Uh, not particularly," he says, conceding a little bit. "Then again it doesn’t seem sporting . . ."

. . .

He’s kidding, right? Where was Earth’s sporting chance when these Vogon’s blasted her to rubble (or at least tried)? Not like the humans have gotten to interstellar flight capability to have been able to find that "fairly and timely" posted notice about the hyperspace bypass which it had been crisped for, eh?

We don’t play by those kind of rules . . . with folks who "play" that way . . .

Then again, it’s a damn shame it might come to this, Cuthbert sighed. If the Vogon weren’t so bloody single minded (or just like their book counterparts so much), then it wouldn’t look so likely we’ll have to act in such a potentially . . . . “exciting” manner.

  1. "Here comes the announcement," Cuthbert says softly, gesturing to what’s being played over the ship’s PA system.

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8/16/2004 6:13:32 PM

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