By No Stretch of the Imagination Can It Be Considered NORMAL!

Chiana

"Suzie and stuff?" B’Elanna asks in a coy voice. "Stuff? That a term that doctorates use often, Moby?"

Crichton flushes a little bit, stung.

Yeah, Crichton torture if fun. Not that this one can hold a light to mine. . .

"Great!" Crichton mutters under his breath. "I’m getting heckled to death by the elfin peanut gallery!"

He then draws a deep breath, clearly getting ready for a shouting match (poor copy or not, I recognize the signs) when Walker steps in.

Walker

"Dearie, hold your tongue and count to ten," I say. "Now."

Put a little bite into the last word. Lets him know that I’m not kidding.

Pardon me, in this written recounting, if I fail to use as my of my "Cockney" accent as I usually would whilst speaking. I had studied hard to make it a part of myself whilst growing up, but it’s not always . . .appropriate for EVERY form of communication, eh?

Anyway, back to the story!

Last thing I want or need right now is a screaming session between the IASA astronaut and the elf engineer from Star Trek, thanks! Don’t know how loud this Crichton can get but I know how loud B’Elanna can be! Honestly, I’d never had put her down as being able to produce that kind of volume from her small size.

Kinda jealous. Had taken a LOT of practice to be able to get mine up to that volume I sometimes used in the barracks. . ..

. . .

Okay, I already know the lay of the land here in the conflict that’s kinda boiling under the surface. Stressers sources here aren’t just only John Crichton (with his seemingly endless babbled popculture references) and B’Elanna (with a core of Klingon volatility and a tendency to STILL slip into Star Trek technobabble from time to time).

Gods and Goddess know that would be bad enough. I have to wonder how they had not come to blows back upon the Defiant. Things must have been really bad there, engineering wise, to have focused to much of their energies on IT than each other. . .

No, the third source of stress and tension (unintentional or not) happens to be coming from the girls in gray!

It’s not just ONE thing about them, it’s several things. However, taken as a whole it’s a source of stress, you know. And I know what’s going on (pretty well enough, anyway) to see it. See, I’m a mind reader! Not really, but then again . . . it kind of gets granted to ya when you’re a drill instructor (retired) and a mother (recent development) you get a knack. . .

. . .

First, there is the fact that Aaryn Pip here had been shot (a shot wound that would have killed her if circumstances had been normal) and Crichton had played a major part in it. Yes, it had been Scorpius who’d done it, in the end, but. . .. Oh, Aeryn Pip understood once she’d found out about the Scarrans having abducted Crichton’s now wife: Aeryn Sun. She’d seen how wrapped around "her" Crichton could be, and how desperate he could get. What lengths he might be driven to. Fine, that allowed her to forgive Crichton. Good and well, but I fear that Chiana is another story entirely!

Her relationship with this Crichton had already been rocky up to the point when Betty and Ragan (with a LOT of reservations but seeing no other way to avoid it, now) had shown that one Farscape episode: Unrealized Reality. Relationship, which had been on the mend from that unfortunate incident Cricthon here had drawn a gun on her (re: 36744), pretty much went into the drecker (FAR down into the drecker). That had hurt Chiana in ways you don’t want to know, poor dear. But . . . I do believe (I HOPE) that the revelation that John hadn’t exactly been in his right mind (but under the influence . . . of foul magicks) will EVENTUALLY allow for the rift to heal. Hope dearly, dearie. However, right now I fear that she rather sees him as a substandard version of her John Crichton (ala Season 1) and nothing short of divine intervention right now will change her mind. For now. . ..

Eventually, she’ll come around. Hope she comes around but right now she’s still pretty much not liking Crichton (and not hiding it much at all) and the fact hurts John deeply. He’s tried to fix it, but it’s not doable. . . . and he hates that. I don’t see it turning around anytime before this Quest is done (and he doesn’t either, I can see). But since it still bugs him, it’s causing him to annoy B’Elanna (and some others . . . myself included from time to time) moreso than he’d usually do.

So because of that, it had come down to an increasing sniping session between human and elf.

"So, do you have any . . . .requests for B’Elanna?" I ask him once he’s done counting. "Before we go and answer your question?"

"Could we please stop with the whale jokes?" he manages. "For a while it was funny, but now . . . It’s getting old."

"Sure!" she practically chirps, before her bright face goes utterly stony (as well as her voice). "If you lay off the cute little nicknames and popculture references. Creator, it’s making my head spin trying to follow what you’re saying sometimes!"

And of course a miscommunication during some kind of emergency engineering evolution (Star Treker or whatever) can lead to disaster!

And. . . honestly I rather didn’t like him (under his breath or no) calling me "Miss Full Metal Jacket". . ..

Know the reference. Liked the Marine chant about what makes the grass grow in that movie. Found that berk Marine Core drill instructor substandard (and gotten a REAL good insight why yet again the Military nowadays insist on their drill instructors have psych degrees) and DEFINITELY do not care to be . . .

Well, didn’t care for the nickname and all the connotations, see.

"Sure," Crichton manages. "No problemo. No more pop-culture refs. No nicknames. No whale jokes! Deal?"

Holds his hand out to shake on it!

"Deal!" B’Elanna shouts, (voice practically echoing off the rafters in her enthusiasm) leaping over and pumping John’s hand like it was an well handle like you’d find on an old style agriculture farm.

"But one pop culture ref or damn nickname . . ." she continues, smiling a rather frosty smile.

"And any more whale jokes because of that hum in my head," Crichton smiles (rather forced) back. "Any and. . ."

Any and someone’s going to be thrown into a freeze tube for the duration of the remainder of this Quest. . . Don’t think I won’t do it. We have them in stock, you know (we’d come prepared for worst case scenarios) so I can do it. . .

No, not saying that we need to worry about me throwing B’Elanna in a tube. Know her, dearie. She can manage.

We do answer John's question, by the way. Answer is a simple yes with no amplifying data to it, but it'll do. That's not a problem, now.

As for problems, that's probably going to be John (a problem for him, you see).

1. It’s John Crichton, Astronaut I have grave doubts ‘bout!

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