Wilhelm's Eye Ball
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 43458
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Wilhelm the wizard gulped, and felt his adam's apple scrape against
Astra's wickedly sharp dagger. In his present predicament he obviously
couldn't do much other than agree to Astra's demand. But, being a sly
wizard, he also saw an opportunity to even up the score. "I
swear!" the wizard barked out, "I shall do no harm to your friend
nor seek to make him my slave!"
Astra grinned and let go of the short sorceror with a little shove from behind. He stumbled forward and grabbed his throat gingerly. A small smudge of blood was left behind on his finger. "PAH!" he spit into the sand as he turned to face Astra, his face contorted with rage. "I swore no harm to your friend, tis true, but as for you, you are a different matter. You have manhandled me most unkindly, and dared to bring violence upon my person! Don't you know who I am?! I am Wilhelm the Wizard! And because of what you have done here this day, you have called down upon your barbarous head my eternal ire, my undying wrath, MY UNHOLY VENGEANCE!" Astra shrugs, looks through the fourth wall, and notes dryly, "Why do evil wizards always have to be so melodramatic?" Fred though was not as calm as Astra about the wizard's vile vow. For one thing, he didn't have the experience with evil wizards that Astra did. And for another, he had just wet himself which always put him on edge. But although Fred was awfully frightened of this wizard, he was also horrified at the idea of any kind of harm befalling the beautiful Astra. The only problem was, what could he do about it? After all, he was just a candy-ass sissy-boy. And he knew it. But on this particular occasion he actually summoned up all of the courage inside of him and tried to do something heroic for a change. "Now listen here, uh, evil wizard," Fred stuttered as he took a step forward. Wilhelm turned one baleful eye in Fred's direction and the poor Lord of Suffex was so stricken by the wizard's grotesque stare that he tripped right over himself and fell into the sand. But as luck, or mysterious fate, would have it, as Fred fell forward he also fell straight into the cranky old wizard and, purely by accident, poked old Wilhelm right in the eye. "GHAAAAAAGH!" Wilhelm screamed and slapped both hands over his punctured eyeball. But alas, it was too late. With a strange gushing noise, much like a heavily belabored fart, Wilhelm's soul shot out of the hole in his face and disappeared into the invisible aether. As for the rest of Wilhelm, it fell like a stringless puppet into the sand at Astra's feet. Astra stared at the dead body of the master mage. Then she stared at the helpless body of the hapless knight. And then she stared at the horde of rats that suddenly appeared out of nowhere and began to eat the dead body of the master mage. And from somewhere in the distance a faint shout could be heard - They killed Wilhelm! You bastards!
** Authors Note - It is a well known fact that in the case of evil wizards the oft quoted phrase "the eye is the doorway to the soul" is not merely an example of poetic license but is actually quite literally true. Which is why most of them prefer to wear glass eyeballs and leave their real ones back at home.
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WolfRun
6/6/2006 12:33:24 AM
21471956 episodes viewed since 9/30/2002 1:22:06 PM.