The Butchered Baby Seal Inn

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 4322

Fred was by now very hungry, but not THAT hungry. So the gore encrusted former reluctant hero now turned crazed psychopathic killer walked down the deserted town street and knocked on the door of the first inn he found. He waited a moment, knowing that it was very late at night and that the inn keeper would not be used to a guest calling at this particular hour. Fred looked up at the inn's sign, swinging in the wind just above his head. He smiled as he read the carved plaque; the Butchered Baby Seal Inn. Now this was his kind of culinary establishment!

Ten minutes later and after pounding the door nearly to pieces, the inn keeper finally came down to find out what all the fuss was about. He opened the door slit and peeked through. "What the HELL is going on!" he shouted. "You're making enough noise to wake the dead!"

Fred turned around and looked back the way he had come. The street was still deserted. "I hope not," he said, mostly to himself.

"So what do you want?" the inn keeper asked, not noticing the blood and guts that coated Fred's body. It was very dark, you see, and street lights had not yet been invented. "I want a meal, a warm fire and a keg of your finest mead," Fred answered. "At this time of night?!" the inn keeper said, inflamed, "Well you can just jump in the bloody ocean for all I care. You'll not get a crumb from me you wool-headed idiot!" "I'll pay you fifty crowns," Fred answered, trying to tempt the man into opening his door. Of course, Fred didn't have a penny on him, but after killing over forty people, a little lie didn't bother him at all.

A second ticked by and then Fred heard the bolt slip back and the door was opened for him. "The money's up front boy," the inn keeper said and held out his hand. With a quick swipe the inn keeper's hand was severed from his wrist and flopped to the ground. "MY GOD MAN!" the inn keeper screamed, "THAT'S THE HAND I WIPE MY ARSE WITH!"

  1. Will the inn keeper learn to wipe his arse with his other hand?
  2. Will the inn keeper live long enough to need to?
  3. Does bludgeoned baby seal taste like chicken?

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9/19/1999 10:41:49 PM

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