An Ogre Named Sue
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 42246
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Toby drops his axe. "Er, hi, I’m Sir Toby."
The ogre drops Toby, who hits the ground with a thud. "Pleased to meet you, Sir Toby. I’m Sue, as you could have guessed by the previous episode’s title, and this is my donkey Fish." "A donkey fish?" "Hey, let me introduce myself!" yells the donkey. "My name is Fish. Or sometimes it’s Chicken, sometimes Pig, and occasionally it’s Donkey. And it really annoys me when people call me you!" "People call you Sir Toby?" "No! You don’t get it, do you?" "Allow me to explain," Sue says. "We’re fleeing a horrible story filled with continuity errors and the like. Poor Fish has had five or six different names, and every time Fish did something someone had to describe it as, 'You went in search of blueberries.' I wasn’t immune to the horrible continuity problems, either. Originally, I was an ogress who suffered from female pattern baldness and had a quest to go slay the dragon. Eventually, over the course of several problematic episodes, I underwent a sex change and a quest change as well. Now, I’m supposed to not only kill the dragon but rescue the damsels as well." "Damsels?" "Yes. Two princesses, as far as I know. Originally it was one, but then someone decided that the dragon’s magic created an exact duplicate of her. Then someone gave me this gawd-awful piece of futuristic technology." Sue holds up a cellular phone. "I can’t work it. My fingers are too big, and no one seems to know what it is. That was the last straw. After that, Fish and I decided to run away from all of that nonsense and go find another dragon to slay." "Really? I’m off to slay a dragon too!" "Ah, you’re just a silly knight!" Fish says. "Fish is right. You can’t do it alone. You’ll need allies like us. We’d be honored to join you in your noble quest." So Sir Toby and his newfound friends Sue and Fish head off toward the Southern Caves with every intention of destroying the dragon and leaving behind the land of continuity errors. Taking a westbound passage that conveniently opened up for them, they proceed with all deliberate speed until they encounter their first obstacle. What is it?
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unknown adventurer
5/24/2004 11:15:29 AM
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