A Fungus Amoung Us

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 42122

“So please don’t be angry with me when I hand down your new station in the next life,” he implored of the princess.

Astra didn’t like the sound of that. “You’re making me nervous, Fred...”

Fred forced a smile. “Oh, don’t worry,” he lied. “Everything’s going to be just dandy. Like sour candy.”

Astra hated sour candy.

“Yes, everything’s going be just fine,” he persisted, though the look in his eyes seemed to contradict his words. “Your next existence will be like a walk in the park....”

“Just get on with it already!”

Fred cleared his throat. “Yes, well, here it is then. There were a few...slip ups, you might say, that you made during your former life. Nothing major. But...it seems the higher ups aren’t convinced you learned from your mistakes...”

Astra held her breath in anticipation.

“...so they’ve decided...to...uh...there’s really no easy way to say this. You are to be re-born as a...”

“As a what!?”

“...as a...”

“Go on!”

“...as...”

“Just say it!”

“...a...”

“WHAT!?”

“...”

“Dammit! Just @*#!ing tell me!”

“Okay, okay. You are to reborn as a foot fungus that grows on one of my alternate incarnations. There. I’m sorry. It really won’t be so bad. That version of Fred may even wash his feet once in awhile, and then you’ll be able to move up in the life following that one. Y’know? It can only go up from there.”

  1. Before Astra could object, or even contemplate what was happening, her new life began...
  2. As Astra shimmered away, Fred couldn't help but feel some remorse. Had he really been the cause of her death in that other universe? Oh well, just another day on the job. He looked up to see the next person arriving at the gates...

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5/18/2004 1:06:51 PM

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