The Moles of Biranuwari

Early retirement had seemed the only logical solution at that time (some would have suggested it was the only solution, logical or otherwise), but the pension plan was an insult. Forty silver a month might have seemed a lot to the peasants and nose-picking serfs, but with inflation as it was it would mean nothing in four years. Especially with that lunatic alchemist coming down from the forest on the hill to throw money at everyone each week and laughing. In his pants.

The madman's antics meant that at some point - no one knew quite when - a few alcoholic lepers had actually acquired more money than the King. Bread was being sold for eight-thousand crowns on half-price day where only last year it would have been fifty seven groats (the context is assisted by the knowledge that there are a million groats to one crown). Children no longer played with marbles, they played with emeralds bigger than their fists (and in some cases, particularly with the richer kids, bigger than their heads (although in some cases this was purely down to some very strange-shaped heads)).

And so on.

The alchemist was known as Gegiliphon. No one knew whether this was his real name, but it was the only word he would scream as he threw handfuls of gold at the local populous amidst the cries of 'Why?', 'Who?', 'How?', and 'Clean?' (the lepers). Thus he was known.

As for Fred, he considered it beneath him to scrabble in the dirt for jewels cast down by what was essentially a dodgy potions master. He was a bigger man than that. Of course this decision also made him an extremely poor man very quickly.....

1. This is a fascinating chapter, rich in detail and plot. Please continue.
2. WILL YOU GET TO THE POINT, MY DINNER'S GETTING COLD!

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