Earth Died Screaming

(Okay, Josh is making everything up. He knows why Scott and Todd are dead, because he shot them with the gun in his hand that he's pretending to not know how it got there. Josh knows that if he pretends to be completely insane, or at least claim that the events of the past few minutes were blacked out of his mind for whatever reason, he could probably beat this in court!)

Josh tries not to lose it as he hastily punches buttons on his phone. He breathes heavily as it rings four times. Finally, someone on the other end answers, and Josh almost panics when he hears a human voice...
"Hello?"
"I didn't do any-...er, hi Mom!"
"Joshua? Is that really you? My goodness, son, it's been so long!"
"C-come on, Mom, it hasn't been that long! It's only been a week or three since I last called. No need to jump the gun like that. Gun. GUN! Bullets, murder, homicide, two dead bodies on the floor!"
"Joshua, are you all right? You sound like you've seen a ghost!"
"N-n-no, Mom, definitely not a ghost! I've seen many, many things in the past few years, but most definitely no ghosts. Dead bodies, maybe, but...er, that's a bad example. How's Dad?"
"Joshua...I know you, son. You're stammering, and you're making absolutely no sense. Now your father and I know that you only act that way because you feel guilty about something bad that you did. You acted that way when you were caught dumping paint on the neighbors' rosebushes, and you kept trying to deny it. You also acted that way when we found out that you really quit your job at Burger King when you were sixteen instead of being 'laid off due to lack of business', and the reason you quit was because you didn't want to clean the restrooms all over again. Now out with it! What did you do this time?"

There is a long, awkward silence peppered with Josh starting to speak, but stopping after just a syllable or two. Finally, after nine agonizing minutes (with several more examples of Josh's misbehavior in the past), he breaks down and tells his mother everything that just happened. At first, Josh tried to go the "I have no idea how any of this happened" route, but his mom knows her boy much too well for that, and eventually berates the truth out of him.
"What do I do, Mom?" Josh wails. "What do I do?!"

1. Josh is advised to turn himself in immediately.
2. "Fuck off, son!" And the call ends.
3. "You need to talk to your father about this, son." Dad is not in a good mood as it is.
4. Now, hold on! Let's hear some more examples of the stuff Josh used to do as a kid.

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