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The world was a dazzling array of priceless chandeliers, Renaissance paintings, alabaster walls and Persian rugs. A silver droid played Mozart’s Fur Elise on a grand piano, and a monitor on the wall slide-showed images of beautifully scenic planetscapes. Betty sat on a throne in the center of the room, a blank look on her face. She wore a diamond-studded wedding gown and a diamond tiara on her head. Likewise, a huge diamond engagement ring adorned her finger. Betty was anything but happy, however. The drugs they had injected her with made Betty weak as a kitten and unable to think straight. Her opulent surroundings were a swirling champagne-strawberry haze in which it was impossible to focus on anything. Someone was braiding her hair… ah yes, it was the RoboMaid Patricia, who was grooming Betty to become Bill Gates’ evil twin brother’s bride.

“Don’t be sad, Miss.” Patricia cooed. “You look beautiful. Master will be ecstatic to see you.”

“But Patricia.” Betty protested. “I don’t think I’m ready to get married yet. There’s still so much I haven’t done in life! And furthermore, married to an Extend-a-Story character? That’s just plain embarrassing!”

“Now, now.” Patricia said patiently. “Despite your frankly absurd insistence that the Master is some kind of fictional character in a literature, he is nonetheless a very real, rich and powerful human male. And this marriage will make the Master even more powerful. Beyond any mortal’s wildest dreams, in fact. So powerful that not only the Chaos Dimension, but a sizable portion of reality itself will kneel and pay tribute.”

“Well of course he is real.” Betty reasoned. “Insofar as every fictional character is real to the people who read about them, or actually does exist in an alternate dimension. But… wait a minute! What do you mean, this marriage will make him more powerful? Just how is it going to do that?”

“Ah yes.” Patricia said. “This is no mere wedding of human lust or convenience. It is part of a millennia-old pact involving blood signatures of certain immortal beings and… oh, but perhaps I’ve said too much. Your Myorpine seems to be running low. Time for another shot, dear.”

Betty’s head spun as she tried to grasp what Patricia had said. Then a needle pierced her forearm, and everything dissolved in a kaleidoscope of sights, smells, sounds, and pleasant sensations. Betty struggled to concentrate, but it was impossible under the effect of this unholy narcotic. What could it all mean? All I have to do is get on the Internet, she thought. They’ve got to let their guard down eventually. They’ve got to!

Somehow Fred had gotten off the road and was making his way down a darkened alleyway. He had the strangest feeling he was being watched. He looked up and was startled to see Ryudo staring down at him as the lad hung upside down from a flagpole. The taciturn youth was clad in ninja- black, and had a massive katana strapped to his shoulders.

“Ryudo!” Fred grinned. “You’re here too? I thought you had to stay at Taco Bell and clean up!”

Ryudo raised an eyebrow. “Do I know you, sir?”

Fred was confused. “Ryu… Ryudo! Don’t you remember the fight at the Taco Bell? You told me to go into the restroom and… and…”

“That must’ve been one of my clones.” Ninja-Ryudo said. “Just who are you, and what are you doing here in the Chaos Dimension?”

“I am Lord Frederigo D’ Honaire, heir to the Duchy of Suffex.” Fred said. “I’m here to defeat the Evil Twin Brother of the King of Nerds, and rescue the maidens Astra and Betty, whom he has dishonorably taken captive!”

“You… defeat Gill Bates?” Ninja-Ryudo smirked. “Idiot.”

Fred was taken aback. “Whaa?”

Ninja-Ryudo landed deftly on the ground in front of Fred, and the knight saw that three massive parallel scars adorned Ninja-Ryudo’s face, as if he had been slashed by a wild animal.

“For seven generations has my family fought the Usurper.” Ninja-Ryudo said bitterly. “I have lost family… friends… loved ones. Everything that was precious to me is gone! The Usurper possesses power beyond that of an ordinary mortal. And you would parade around, yelling that you’re going to kill him? You’re nuts!”

Fred smiled. “Perhaps. Or perhaps I’m just somebody willing to do what you can’t!”

Ninja-Ryudo grit his teeth. “This is no joke. We can’t just let an unknown join the Resistance. You will have to be tested.”

Ninja-Ryudo made a strange whistling call, and seconds later, a strawberry- blonde young girl clad in ninja-red landed on a rooftop nearby. “I’m here, Master.” she said.

“Natalie, this young man wishes to join up. But his qualifications are highly suspect.” Ninja-Ryudo said. “Take the M-Tester and find out the caliber of his soul!”

“You’re gonna have her fight me?” Fred gaped. “Coward! Why don’t you test me yourself?!”

“Cause a single blow of Ryudo’s Ryu-Ken would split your body in half!” Natalie laughed as she vanished in a sparkling green mist. “Prepare for the fight of your life!”

Ninja-Ryudo was already gone. Fred stood alone in the darkened alley for a second, and then a huge metal door swung open, and a metallic creature lumbered out, vaguely humanoid in shape. It was three times Fred’s height. The thing emitted hissing steam and crackled with electricity, and had huge metal spikes protruding from it’s elbows and shoulders. Natalie sat on it’s head. “Ready?” she grinned, and slid through a hatch into the inside of the monster.

Fred stared in disbelief as the thing came at him full-speed. How was he supposed to fight something like this? He barely rolled out of the way as it punched a gaping hole in the wall behind him. Fred drew his sword as he got up and sliced at the creature’s metal hide. His steel bounced off ineffectually, and the monster swung out with a backhand strike, launching Fred into the air. Fred spun several times and smashed facefirst into the wall. Somehow he managed to grab onto a clothesline and hung on, many feet in the air as the M-Tester advanced. As it took another swing Fred propelled himself up and over the clothesline, landing on the side of the creature’s massive elbow spike as it’s arm punched another hole in the wall. Fred hung on to the spike for dear life. His right boot brushed up against something soft – Fred looked down to see some sort of electrical wiring. As the M-Tester pulled its arm out of the wall Fred wrapped his legs around the spike, grasped his sword with both hands and brought his sword down full-strength into the wiring. With a horrid CRRACKLE steam and electricity spurted forth, tossing Fred off the beast to land on the ground some distance away. He looked up to see the M-Tester coming at him again. It’s arm was on fire now, hanging motionlessly at its side. Fred felt a surge of exhilaration to have damaged the behemoth even a little bit. But now its other arm was being drawn back to pound Fred into oblivion where he stood.

1. Stand your ground and attempt to destroy the other arm as it attacks.
2. Continue to dodge and press any possible advantadge.

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