The Unsavory Attackur

“No problem!” Betty grinned. She began typing : Fred and Velus, consumed by the dark abyss, were suddenly deposited right in the middle of Betty’s house. Then all four were teleported to Hawaii with refreshing fruit drinks in hand, except for Velus, who was given a giant tasty bone to gnaw on.

She hit Enter. “Good enough for you?”

“Where are they?” Astra asked. “I don’t see them anywhere!”

“Well, I guess it might take a few minutes, due to the evil nature of the dark void.” Betty explained. “Just be patient! I’m sure they’ll be allright.”

Suddenly they heard a crashing sound from downstairs. “Fred?!” Astra gasped. “Could it be?”

“I don’t know…” Betty said. “It sounds like…”

The crashing, grinding, roaring noise came closer and closer, until the door splintered and flew off its hinges. Before them stood a giant, 7’ tall humanoid with green-gray skin protruded with spikes, glaring, beady red eyes, a helmet shaped like an atomic bomb and whirring chainsaws for arms. The beast came complete with a vile odor and a bad attitude.

“I AM ATTACKUR!” roared he. “SURRENDER OR DIE!”

Betty turned to the computer. She began typing: Attackur suddenly perishe but before she could type the final ‘d’ and hit Enter massive metal tentacles burst from Attackur’s chest and smashed the computer to bits. Then the tentacles wrapped around Betty and Astra, lifting them into the air.

“Dammit!” Astra cursed. “What do you want with us, you, you freak!”

“I SERVE THE EVIL TWIN BROTHER OF THE KING OF NERDS! AND HE HAS CHOSEN BETTY TO BE HIS WIFE FOR ALL ETERNITY! SO NOW I WILL TAKE YOU BOTH TO HIS DARK CASTLE IN THE FAR REACHES OF THE CHAOS DIMENSION, HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”

Attackur waved one of his chainsaws, and a dimensional portal swirled open. At the same time Fred and Velus blinked into existence “What’s going on?!” Fred demanded and Velus barked.

“HA HA HA! FAREWELL, SUCKER!” said Attackur, and disappeared into the portal. It started closing behind him. All Fred could hear was Astra’s cry of “Good bye, Fred!!! Aaaahh!!!”

1. Fred leaps into the portal to rescue Astra, with Velus valiantly following close behind.
2. Fred is too much of a coward to rescue Astra!!! He goes to Taco Bell instead. Yum!

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