Three Quarts Drunk

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 31349

Having been banned from the Never Ending Quest forever, Lots42 rapidly hits bottom, which is a shock to all of his friends, since he seemed to handle being banned from websites, newsgroups, and message boards quite well in the past. Lots begins drinking heavily, and eventually finds himself stinkin' drunk behind a 7-Eleven in the suburbs, talking to underpants gnomes. The gnomes are having a bit of trouble removing Lots' underpants, mostly because he happens to be sitting in them right now...

"Huh?" slurs Lots. "I am not a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi..."

  1. Lots' adoptive family comes by to take him home.
  2. Lots soils his underpants, and the gnomes finally leave him alone.
  3. Lots soils his underpants, but the gnomes are adamant about taking them.
  4. Did I mention that Lots happens to be sitting next to Navin R. Johnson?

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Ben McClellan

1/10/2009 3:57:59 PM

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