Return of the Kan-tiger
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 31149
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A few second later (it feels like six and a half seconds but it could be
more, say six and three quarter seconds) the tiger returns. Sir Fred
begins to ready himself to do battle with the fell beast, but notices
that it now carries between its jaws a small wicker basket. Fred's
curiosity is piqued further when he realises that the basket in turn
bears a small scroll tied up with red ribbon. The tiger walks up to
Fred, drops the basket at his feet, and sits down. Interpreting the tiger's actions as an invitation to read the scroll, Fred picks it out of the basket. He unrolls and reads: "Most Esteemd Lord Fred, My illustrious master, E Kantona Esq., wishes to inform you of his return to the Never-Ending Quest. Be prepared for future episodes and adventures containing . . ." At this point there had obviously been some radical editing, for the handwriting which follows is radically different. Moreover, the previous words have been deleted rather hastily and can still be read with some concentration. After some study, Fred is able to discern that "puerile drivel, tedious non-sequiturs and badly-written self- indulgent garbage" has been replaced with "wit, lyricism, originality and a soupcon of profound philosophical insight". The letter ends in a hurried: "Yrs sincerely Son of Mortis (Secretary to Mr Kantona)" to which is appended an even more hasty p.s.: "Don't be afraid of Anchovie Darling, he's really quite harmless, although since that wizard turned him into a tiger he's become quite upset at his inability to mix a decent dry Martini." Fred raises his eyes from the parchment. "Well, that was a waste of time" he mutters, only slightly surprised to notice that the tiger has somehow snuck away while he was reading.
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Eric Kantona
10/24/2005 3:38:29 AM
Extending Enabled
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