Fred's Wife

Too late.

"Hon-ey, I finally found you," says his wife in a voice as scratchy as her skin. "I've been looking all over for you. You've been out for days. Where have you been?"

"Dearest jellybean," replies Fred, employing all his charm, "I've been on a quest."

"Quest, smest. The garbage needs taking out, and who's going to rake the yard? Have you been playing knight again?"

"Dearest, I am a knight. That's what I do."

"Yeah. Uh huh. Then why don't you ever come rescue your fair maiden?" replies Fred's wife poutingly.

1. Fred's wife decides to join the "quest."
2. Fred tells his wife he wants a divorce.
3. Fred kisses his wife and leaves when she isn't looking.

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