One Ordinary Day, With Statues

"It's probably just the weather," Mistress Jolly said sagely as the two hurried on. "I'll bet it rains torrents tonight."

Later that same day, a company soldiers arrived to inspect Lord and Lady Alarm (as they were nicknamed). Pronklezilch's note mentioned an eight month warranty, and the captain of the guard wanted to take no chances where Pronklezilch was concerned. They found the two statues in good repair, but the captain decided to post two guards at each statue, just in case. That done, he returned to town to spend the night at the ill-reputed but popular establishment of Mayorette Sonja (Jueseafrute had the distinction of being the only town in all of Kull whose mayor was also a bawdy girl - although she had, in fact, been Lord Mayor Sanjad before being enchanted by Pronklezilch).

The guards spent all that night on duty, wondering what it was they were supposed to be guarding the statues against - or if, in fact, they should be guarding against the statues. But the night passed with no incident, and the next day, the Captain, relaxed and happy after a night with Mayorette Sonja, ordered the four back to their barracks, leaving Lord and Lady Alarm to guard the roadway into Jueseafrute.

Months passed. Mayorette Sonja was voted out of office - a fact that delighted her, since it allowed her to become a full-time bawdy girl. The citizens of Jueseafrute stopped noticing the statues, except in passing. There was simply too much else that needed tending to for them to worry about a couple of stone folk.

Years passed. The town grew and prospered. Rumors that the wizard Pronklezilch had either perished or simply moved a far distance away helped encourage the prosperity. The new town council fired the man who came around once every few months to clean the mold and pigeon droppings off of the statues and no one took his place.

Decades passed. Jueseafrute grew far beyond its old town limits, becoming one of Kull's major municipalities. Madame Sonja, as young and pretty and vigorous as the day she'd been enchanted, continued to run a chain of highly profitable bawdy houses.

Then one day, the town council started a program to tidy up Jueseafrute. As part of that effort, two old statues were removed from the sides of Lemonade Street, where they only served to block foot traffic and annoy the local merchants. The vines covering them were cut down and the two filthy, weather-beaten, moss-covered figures once known as Lord and Lady Alarm were hauled away to:

1. The town dump
2. The Town Hall basement
3. A museum in another town far away
4. The house of Theo the Stonecutter
5. Madame Sonja's newest bawdy house.
6. The lair of a new local wizard
7. The castle of Yarna, the newly-crowned Queen of Aquilaria
8. The dwelling of a mysterious bidder who paid a top price for them.

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