the Story Cops Intervene

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 21660

Of the ten job opportunities on the notice board, Fred realized that he only had the qualifications for one: street performer. He would resort to whatever means necessary to make some gold, whoring himself out to the masses for a few meager coppers here and there. Drawing on skills he had picked up while hanging out with eccentric gypsies who would sulk about near Semper Wood in Suffex, he began his career in Hespan as a street performer.

But what would his act be? The nail hammered through the nose? The cobra forced up a nostril and pulled out through the mouth? The burning-baby juggling act? He had so many freakish tricks up his sleeve, it was hard to pick a specific one to market to the Hespanish public. He decided the best way to go about the whole thing was to try each one and rate the audiences' response to each.

Amidst the crowds and the clutter of Corona's central courtyard, a chicken caught Fred's eye. He decided to improvise, making his introduction as a performer with one fell swoop.

The chicken never knew what hit it. In one tragic moment, it's head had been bit off by an Allarian Lord looking to make a quick copper. As his teeth sunk into the chicken's flesh and began to tear the appendage away from the body, Fred gave out a savage cry.

The crowd in the immediate vicinity stopped their activity and turned their attention to the little spectacle. They began to cheer! They liked it! Fred spat the decapitated head on the ground and hocked up a messy glob of blood, gore, and feathers. The rest of the ill-fated chicken began to convulse and scamper across the courtyard, sending the crowd into a chorus of laughter.

"Mas sangre! Mas muertos!" They chanted, a few of them tossing coppers at the Allarian entertainer. Fred, finding new boldness from his warm acceptance, grabbed a baby from an unknowing mother's arms. She cried out in alarm.

As the crowd continued it's frenzied, blood-thirsty chorus, Fred prepared to bite off the infant's head...

"WAIT A MINUTE! NOBODY MOVE!" A Story Cop demanded, materializing next to Fred. "This is the second time, D'Honaire! [19766]Are you some kind of sicko? Biting the head off a baby? You think you're God just because you're the main character..."

"STAR!" Fred corrected the officer, making no attempt to mask his spite. "I'm the STAR of the story, got it, errand boy!? You just want in on it!"

"We're not going into this again, pal..."

"I've got a contract! What do you have!? A billy club!? Oooooh! Get lost, jerk!"

"Watch it. You continue this disturbance and I'm taking you in..."

"You continue to harass me and I'll take your damn head off!"

  1. "Hey," some in the audience cried, " that was my chicken!"

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11/12/2002 10:00:35 PM

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