Loonies All Around
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 20372
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Lord Fred decided to see where the madman had come from -- in the
hope that he would actually find no more. The Bear and the
three-legged horse followed behind, with apparent misgivings.
Fred had not gone far when he saw through the branches a peculiar
sight (well actually yet another peculiar sight, he's had so many of
them now)! A clearing ahead, with a cauldron of... something...
bubbling away over a blazing fire, while five strange men (who looked
an awful lot like the madman who had just exploded) danced and
chanted around it.
Fred, with sword alredy in hand (he was taking no chances), stepped
out. "Hey! You guys! Why are you all acting so weird, there? Eh?"
The five strange figures stopped dancing, and fixed Fred with a
penetrating stare. In chorus, they answered, "We are the Vicars of the
Void! Eeeeee-wooooo!!"
And Fred replied, "Uh-huh. And what is thet strange song you are
singing?
"Why, it's 'Winchester Cathedral!'" answered the madmen, again in
(off-key) chorus. They were beginning to get on Fred's nerves.
"Er, right," said Fred, "I have a book here in a mysterious language,
and I was wondering..."
Just then the Vicars spied the three-legged horse. "THE
THREE-LEGGED HORSE OF BWEEB-F'TANG!!!" they screamed, as
as one attacked Fred in a berserk frenzy!
"Boy, sure wish I really had an Evil-Whacker Ring," Fred complained.
"Oh, I got one'a those!" said the Bear, as he indeed brandished a
shiny Chrome-Plated Evil-Whacker Ring at the droooling. gibbering,
leering, off-key mad Vicars. Eldritch flames shot forth from the ring,
causing one Vicar after another to be engulfed in eerie energy as they
screamed and vibrated in agony! Their tongued protruded and spun
like propellors! Their eyeballs protruded and went bloodshot like two
balls of bacon! And they spun like propellors, too! Their finger- and
toenails shot off like firecrackers! Gouts of sparks gooshed out of
their ears! Their skin turned purple, then spotted, then plaid! They
began talking backwards! Then they all turned into a negative image
and they screamed "EEBER-EEBER-OUCHIE-F'NOO-OW!!!"
And with a huge, earsplitting explosion, they exploded, sendind
carbonized bits of madman everywhere.
Fred turned to the Bear. "I didn't know you could do that."
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J.P.Morgan
8/19/2002 9:36:07 AM
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