Divorce and Shadow (Part 2)

I and my ka-tet have been to other worlds (and indeed stand on one this very second)! We have gone through a sad, plague ravaged mirror world of my Earth-born friends. We have gone through a world that, while somewhat like my homeworld, had a property of ?gravity? to it that was a touch more than I?d been born and lived with all my life (how odd that one had been). What an odd world Romulus had been, indeed. Terra Prime had been a welcome sight indeed (place where I wedded my newly recovered first love, Susan), and after this Divorces and Shadows

Roland

I feel the blood drain from my face and falter back a step as an oddly familiar Apprentice revolver graze the head of that one demifox lass, Andrea 2. It and another one lands at her feet as she yelps and grabs her bruised head in pain. Mutely I watch as her....boyfriend (a demifox male named Edward Solomon) in fox form looks up at her worriedly.

The others around me (friend of Krynn, friends of my ka-tet, and my love) see my distress and rush c been running oddly, with some areas ?caught up in a time warp? (as Eddie put it). In some places, I found out, time had actually run backwards for a bit and started forwards again. That was how my....father Probe (father he is now, by custom and circumstances that I shall explain in a moment) was able to save Susan. A strange type of time travel occurred there that....makes my head hurt if I try to fathom it too deeply. It was part of Ka, that saving of Susan That and the actions afterwards by Probe to make it appear she?d died in that fire. Though cruel seeming on the outset (making me thinking all these centuries she?d died....and it being my fault at the bottom of it all), it was the only way. See, if Probe hadn?t done it, the time paradox would have destroyed me (and perhaps Susan, my unborn son by her, and many others as well). Keep trying to tell my father, Probe, that I understand and it was needful because of Ka, but.....

Somehow I get the feeling that it still hurts him deeply that such had to be done.

By the Beam, I....think that concern for me and my well being is a large part why I?m actually....beginning to actually accept him as my father. I?d been shocked to the extreme to learn what it had meant when I swore my hand to him, but now that?s how he and the Golems are. That?s why I can now call him father.....and feel like a beloved son with a beloved father.

Wonderful, really, considering that in a real sense I?d divorced myself from my old life and family ties back on Midworld by my actions in helping fix the Dark Tower.....

Right, back to the task at hand.....

What happened was that strange, so bear with me and try to follow along. Think of the point of time you call ?the present? as a piece of land at the bottom of a steep valley a traveler (you) journey forth through. The land behind you that you?d walked through is the nation called the ?past?, and due the walls of the valley being so close together, you can?t turn around to walk back....and trying to walk backward wouldn?t do because you?d trip, fall, and break your neck. Got it? Well, the path ahead of you is (and forever shall be) a plot of land called ?the future?. You shall never reach it because as soon as you step forward the land called ?the future? mystically becomes ?the present?. Understand?

......

Ah, I cry your pardon! I do not laugh at you and the odd expression you wear. I instead laugh at myself and the crudity of my explanation. ?Tis the best I can manage, alas.

Now, the thing here is that in my case, they Rules and Agents have taken my old ?the Past? and and my old?the Present? and fused them into something different and new. Needful, according to the Rules and Agents, the whole of Midworld would be torn apart by time paradox. The exact reasons are.....unfathomable to me now (I understood when I stood in the Dark Tower), but I know it was needful and necessary. In the process, I was ?divorced? from Midworld and it?s embrace. What happened exactly is a bit awkward to explain, so I?ll again resort to analogy to explain.

Best way to describe it was that the course of my life, from the past to present, stretch through time like something like an earthworm (as I remember from my teachings back in Gilead). In this case, the Rules and Agents, with the fusing of past to present, made a grand total of four Roland Deschains (me being the forth, the one who made it to the Dark Tower).....as well as duplicating Susannah and Eddie Dean twice (due in part of them being my ka-tet at the times of the fusing). A shadowy afterimage is left over that will remain for years that can be somewhat glimpsed out of the corner of the eye for some, but will fade. That image will be the last of the olden world....the world I?d left behind. The world that moved on before the Dark Tower was repaired, making Midworld a world which had moved on (then moved back?). Uh, that?s....sort of like what is going on here, roughly, anyway. That afterimage is also what remains of Midworld?s old hold on me. If I, my ka-tet, Susan (or even Oy) were to try to walk through the Door right now, basically into something like a solid wall instead of passing through into Midworld would be the result. The way is barred, alas, but I and the others have a home on Terra Prime now.....

Now, with my swearing my hand to Probe, I basically broke all claims of bloodline and family ties to my old (then defunct) family. I had to, for to not would be to forget the face of my father. It was a matter of honor that I disown my family (and my father), else I?d bring shame to them (and him) if I had not. Probe had saved Susan?s life AND my unborn son?s life, after all.

Still, I hadn?t counted on Probe becoming my new father when I?d disowned my old one......

Hrmph....

Now, here?s the problem. I had known that one of the other Rolands running about on Midworld would be one who?d just qualified as a Gunslinger. However, I hadn?t expected it to be this newly qualified (a mere day). I hadn?t expected to have to meet him and my former father, Steven, who?d confronted me...er...him across a whore?s bed.....

Silently watching Jarlath 2 and his group call up and greet the other Roland and Steven, I know what shall come next. I had only hoped to greet my other self and give credence to the offer of aid. If the other Roland refused aid, so be it. If the other accepted, then Jarlath would aid him through the troubles that awaited them....whether on the way to the Dark Tower or whatever.

In this case, the problems ahead for this other Roland (young lad of 14), was what he faced out on a journey ahead. A journey that the first time around lead me to Susan, the Coffin Hunters, and so much more....

In this case, if Ka was kind, Gilead may not fall. I could probably help things along by speaking with this other Roland alone for that....but with Steven as well...... Should prove.....interesting.

See, Astra was able to talk Steven and the other Roland to step through the Door to prove to help prove to them that the offer of aid (and her group) were real enough.....

1. The look of shock realization on their faces as it dawns on them that it's really real here is almost funny. The look on their faces when they see me is......

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