Decisions, decisions; that was what Fred was pondering. From out of his
hide-away he saw the dark shapes mingling with the normal people, there
also were an awful lot of dogs, too.
~~Act natural,~~ thought Fred to himself. ~~As long as they don't find out who you are things should go A-OK.~~
He walked out from his hiding place and edged closer to the group by the water-cooler. The music was reminiscent of that played in the Coming-of- Age festivals back home, the food on the table also looked like it came from the Kingdom. A number of belly dancers swayed to the rythyms while a large fellow gawked at them. Fred could hardly believe his eyes.
He was still mad at himself, though. He berated himself over and over for falling asleep, and worse still...sleeping through goodness only knew how much of the party. But now that he was awake, he was going to make the most of it!
"Hey there, gorgeous!" said Fred to a tall brunette. She paid him no heed. ~~Well!~~ thought Fred. ~~How rude.~~ He approached a blond, but she ignored him as well. Then he tried a red-head and after numerous other tries even went to the large man gawking at the belly dancers. Nothing. No one paid him attention, it was as if he didn't even exist. And that was what he was thinking when he heard a high-pitched voice speak out.
"Hullo!" it said.
Fred looked about but saw no one.
"Down here you idiot!" said the voice a little louder.
Fred looked down to find one of the dogs looking up at him with a stupid dog smile and an exuberantly wagging tail.
"That's right," continued the dog. "I am talking to you! Before we go any farther, could I smell your crotch?"
"No!" screamed Fred.
"I was just asking...you know us dogs. Anyway, if you're not careful the wiggly-wugglies are gonna get you."
Lord Fred, a royal member of the Kingdom's society had never heard of 'wiggly-wugglies'. "Excuse me?" said Fred.
"You're excused," said the dog matter-of-factly. "Anyway, the grey shape- thingies are not really nice to strangers. Actually, they're kinda mean...well, not *kinda* mean, I mean to say that they are REALLY mean. If they catch you they will eat you and then defecate you after six hours. It's not much fun...unless you're into kinky stuff. Are you?"
"Am I what?" asked Fred, trying to keep up with the rather excited dog.
"Are you kinky?" said the dog.
"NO!" yelled Fred.
"I was just asking, you don't have to yell my head off!" said the dog, who was occupied trying to find his dislocated head.
~~This is too wierd~~ thought Fred.
"That's right," said the dog (who seemed to be reading his mind). "Wyrd is the ticket. That's my Master....Wyrd: Wicked Wonder, Doom of the Sane, Purple-People Eater, and Shroom Boom."
"Did you say Purple People-Eater?" asked Fred.
The dog laughed. "No, silly. I said 'Purple-People Eater.' And man is Wyrd really hungry, cause he hasn't sighted any purple people since the days of Hannible and Rex."
Fred knows that he must leave this place; if he stayed, he ran the risk of losing his mind.
4/24/1999 10:30:17 PM
The Never Ending Quest Home
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