A Delightfully Stupid Episode (Banned in parts of India and China)
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 12560
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Fred especially like the caption at the end of the note, which read: The
head of this ravenous madman can be brought to the King (not directly of
course, you’ll have to go through a middleman as the King does not consort
with stinking commoners) for a reward of 10,000 gold pieces or a lifetime
supply of petroleum jelly. “Well,” said Billingsely, “what does it say?” Fred shrugged nonchalantly and flung the bottle back into the ocean. The others gasped in astonishment. “Oh nothing. You know, just the usual...floating bottle stuff. Ya, so anyway, girls. Did I ever mention how lovely you two look, even all frail and nutrient-deprived as you are right now, hopelessly lost in the middle of a vast ocean with only a creep and Robert to keep you company. Or wait, I think I screwed that up! Dammit! I’m gonna drink some more saltwater now.” But Billingsely wasn’t buying it. “Not so fast there, buddy!” he objected. “You never told us what you saw in that bottle!”Astra couldn’t believe it, but she was actually siding with the devious, sexually-addicted outlaw on this one. “At any rate, you didn’t have to throw the damn bottle back into the bloody sea,” she added scathingly. Fred took a moment to think over his response. Then one moment turned into two moments, and two dragged on into three, and three turned into four, and so on and so forth...Astra was growing increasingly frustrated. “Are you ignoring me or are you deaf!?” Fred lapped up some more saltwater before answering. “Both? Or wait...It was just typical bottle stuff. Okay? Bla bla bla bla, something about Petroleum Jelly, so I threw it back into the sea? End of story. No big deal. Can Robert and I get back to ogling your breasts in peace?”“DO WHAT!?” the warrior princess roared in indignation, startling the others on the raft. “Fred, I think you need to quit drinking that saltwater!” But all Fred could bring himself to do meanwhile, was plot the DEATH OF BILLINGSELY!That’s right. He wanted that life supply of petroleum jelly, and he was going to get it if it was the last thing he ever did on this wretch, wretched earth! Everyone kept telling him to quit drinking the saltwater, but he really didn’t see the harm. In the end, however, he decided:
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Ib
7/9/2006 5:15:36 AM
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