Living in Community
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 117743
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It was so strange, stuffing herself into a small space with a bunch of strangers - "strangers"? Could mere animals be referred to in such a way? Fred didn't know the proper words to use - it had been such a long time since she'd used words anyway - but regardless, she didn't like it. At least the shriveled-up human part of her didn't. The dominant toad part did, and she was rather content as she fell into a deep sleep. When she awoke many months later, she immediately noticed a strange feeling come over her. It was similar to the feeling she experienced every spring when she woke up, but now - oh. Oh no. There were other toads around now, plenty of them - in fact way, way more than usual! Most, it seemed, were male. Fred found herself drawn to their insistent croaking, especially the ones with the most reverb, which clearly belonged to the biggest, strongest toads. For some time she fought against it, but, as she had given into the instinctive, biological need to hunt insects, she gave into this need too. Not after struggling against it tremendously, though! The very idea was repulsive, and it felt like if she did this, there was no further to go - she'd have found the bottom of the hole she'd been falling down since she'd walked into Wenda's hut. She'd eaten bugs and hibernated and hopped around in the muck but she could say no to this! Couldn't she? But she'd been feeling the tug for a few years now and was only able to resist because there was nothing immediately in front of her to give in to. Now, she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to resist again. Well, she thought, rather dully, I suppose I ought to just be the best toad I can be... The choice, in the end, was out of her hands. She reluctantly wandered closer to the males with the most impressive croaks, but even as she was moving, one of them suddenly leaped atop her back and wrapped its legs around her! She was vaguely startled, but also unsurprised, and simply kept moving. As she did, over the next few hours, a few others attached themselves to her, and over the following few days of carting them around, her toady body acted as a female toady body should, and all the while Fred was not sure she could quite put her finger on how it was happening - but that was more than okay. After about three days, they finally let go and swam away, and Fred, able to move freely again, returned to her normal routine. A large portion of the toads were leaving, and the pond quickly became much quieter. Fred had become weary of all the croaking, and oddly enough, she almost wanted to describe the quiet now as "peaceful." A few weeks later, she began to see tadpoles absolutely everywhere! She had no idea which might be hers, but the thought that some probably were was very unsettling, and she tried to avoid coming by it. It was hard to do that though. She wasn't sure if it was better or worse that she felt no need at all to care for the little guys. She guessed they'd have to fend for themselves, like - well, like she'd been doing for a couple years now. They grew, and appeared as tiny toads by the time autumn was coming yet again. They joined the full-grown adults in burying into the mud to hibernate. Fred had actually been looking forward to hibernation this year - survival was tiring, and she was ready to sleep away more than half a year. Hibernation came and went, as did the mating season, which Fred accepted a little more readily this time. Now, in all these years she had retained her human mind, but things had definitely become duller, mainly - she had never become bored as a toad. She was either pouring all her effort into finding food and safety, or she was experiencing a rare idle moment and spending it being sad at her situation. She never made it to boredom. Perhaps that was all right - if this toady life were such a big blob of absolutely nothing that she could become bored, it seemed like that would be much, much worse. She'd rather be distracted. One more summer passed. Fred eventually wryly decided that her absolute favorite part of being a toad was shedding her skin and involuntarily eating it several times a year. It was getting near the end of the summer, and she had had a few recent close calls with water snakes, and was becoming nervous that she wouldn't make it to hibernation this year. She had been vaguely considering seeing if she could move on to a safer home, maybe try to find Wenda's hut again and see if Humphrey was still around and aggressive, but this was not the time of year for that - she knew that her instincts would call her back here immediately when she woke up. So maybe she could consider it when she woke up, but for now, it would be a waste of time.
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Toad
9/10/2020 2:07:02 AM
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