"I prithee, great sage" said Fred in his best Gallant Knight-type talk
"Take pity on bold adventurers, and rescue us from our dreadful plight"
"I can't be bothered" huffed Pronklezilch "I'm off back to my tower. I'm
working on finding the secret for turning lead into gold". "How original"
muttered Fred under his breath. the wizard raised his staff and muttered
a few words. It was clear that he was about to disappear, and desperate
measures were called for. "Hey big boy" Astra said, winking at the wizard
"Get us out of here and I'll show you a good time, know what I mean?" "That's
more like it" said the wizard, lowering his staff "Do you give blow jobs?"
Why you-" Fred started to say in rage, but at that moment, a giant spider
came scuttling out of the darkness. Seeing the glow of the wizard's wand,
it reared up on its hindlegs and raised its foremost legs threateningly.
"Oh bugger off" said the Wizard, throwing a ball of lightning at it with
his staff. The spider collapsed in a smoking heap of dead spider. The Wizard
idly waved his staff at the sticky ropes of web, which dissolved and fell
off Fred and Astra. Then he leered at Astra and said "Now, my dear, for
your services!" "We hadn't agreed on anything" said Astra quickly. The
Wizard's brows lowered in rage. "Cheat! Prickteaser!" he screamed. Waving
his wand, he turned both Fred and Astra into
-
 rabbits!
-
stone!
-
 elves!
-
unicorns!
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