G & G (Gollum & Golem)

Inquirer

"What the Hezmana happened to you?" one of the Aeryn Suns asks, pointing at the small sword sticking out of me. My cloak had hid it before, but now all can see it now that I'm close.

"Frodo happened to me," I say tiredly, yanking the hobbit's short sword out of my stomach and slamming it into the sheath I'd commandeered from the guy for the trouble. "You would not believe what happened down on Middle Earth."

Chiana

"Middle Earth as in the world from Lord of the Rings?" I ask, surprised. "That movie your brother showed me back on Core Earth? The movie with that one named Farhbot gleebo Gollum?!"

A small nod from the woman who'd rescued my brother, Nerri, tells me yes!

"Drad," I whisper, delighted (it had been a strangely appealing movie, despite my first doubts over it) and then notice the confused looks that both Suns have. Questions that they both have.

"Uh . . . John can explain later," I say, fobbing off the task to the humans. Right now I'd rather learn what had happened to Inquirer!

In short, quick strokes Inquirer explained that she'd appeared right at the time where Frodo and Sam, the hobbits and heroes of the story had gotten to Mount Doom to toss the One Ring into the lava, destroying it.

"They hadn't noticed me yet but I figured I'd just help things along," the golem continues, shrugging.

(Note: Spoiler alert for the Return of the King movie in italics next. Read at your own risk).

"After all," Inquirer sighs, "he was already going under one last time under that damn thing's influence and was saying that he wasn't going to throw it into the lava and I knew that everything on that world was almost exactly like in the story we know from Tokien! The stupid thing told me the story, mentally, in it's attempts to seduce me!"

She then pauses, letting Sigin magically "scan" her just in case.

Sigin tenses a little bit and then relaxes seconds later.

Later he'll explain that he'd made sure that the One Ring hadn't been somehow mind frelled Inquirer into taking it along with her away from Mt. Doom. The Ring, being a powerful artifact, would have been rather easy to detect with his magical senses alone. That or he added, a bit chagrined once he thought of it moments later that it's evil would have rung everyone's alarm who had psychic power, even an inkling of it.

Rather hard to hide it, really, I guess. Easy enough for it to hide on Middle Earth I figure because the mages like Gandalf’s magical skills seemed to lay in other places than what my Sigin had at his beck and call.

Anyway, instead of seducing Inquirer the Ring's attempts had angered and insulted her. Way too over the top, she explained, to be even be believed. She cast a quick spell that should have just disintegrated the chain holding the ring (and drop it into the lava below, quiet nicely).

"That's where I got stuck for my troubles," Inquirer sighs. "The Ring fell and Frodo screamed and tried to catch it. Dived after it and would have burnt up in the lava if I hadn't run and grabbed him."

Ah, but very possible, that. Inquirer doesn't like to show it (makes most normal people nervous), but the girl has besides a hideous strength she also has superhuman dexterity and speed! I'd seen it when she'd jumped Smith so I believe, despite being the dozens of feet away from the hobbits, she'd be able to reach the diver and grab him. All that and manage NOT to fly off the ledge.

"Freakout Frodo was armed and dangerous?" the younger John asked. "That's why his sword was in you?"

"Yep," Inquirer sighs. "He freaked and stabbed me."

"Uh . . . heh. . . . pardon me," the elder John laughs nervously, gesturing at the stab wound. "Color me dense but shouldn't there be like . . . blood and shit coming from that wound?"

"Bio-mechanical organism shaped like a human woman," I explain quickly and impatiently. "Capillary system feeds her system instead of blood so no blood. Shut up Crichton and let the Golem tell her frellin' story!"

Inquirer goes onto explain that to ADD to the fun that gleebo Gollum thought that somehow that Inquirer had snurched the ring for herself instead of the Ring burning up in the lava. The thing couldn’t stand to think that his Precious was gone and had overlooked willingly the fact that the wedding ring that Inquirer wore hadn’t turned her invisible.

Back when Inquirer and the Doctor had been choosing ring designs, they’d decided that it would be a "blast" to have their rings like that, considering their magical callings and all that....

So, when Gollum saw that ring, he tried to get it. Was climbing and screaming all over Inquirer, finally resorting to BITTING her finger when Inquirer (more or less) ignored the guy, instead concentrating on getting Frodo back onto the ledge and pulling something out of a sack she had on her (a "bag of holding" she called it).

"Guy’s made of rubber," she mutters, going onto explain how Gollum had flopped about like a rag doll, despite the rattling she’d given him trying to shake him off her hand.

Inquirer, noting that the lava was rising and everything was frelling getting worse as each second passed just dropped Frodo (who was now struggling to get OUT of her iron grasp) and flattened Gollum with a swat with her free hand. Then, while the Golem was occupied, the scared hobbits were getting the Hezmana out of there before the lava caught them, Inquirer bound up Gollum like a spider does a fly in "hundred mile an hour" tape (another word for "duct tape", whatever exactly that is).

Crichton swears by that stuff in how useful it is, but I never have seen this stuff so couldn’t even tell you what it looks like or how useful....

Nevermind....

Well, you’re asking why did she bother? Why not just let Gollum burn? After all, he’d burned up in the movie after biting Frodo’s finger off to get the Ring and then tripped and fell into the lava below....

. . . .

I would have, but it’s her ethics. Had only killed that Company ship and that bastard CEO last time only because he’d backed us all into a corner with his threat to scorch Core Earth with his ship (re: 34102) the game of "cat and mouse" had come to an end. She had admitted to me later, after she’d recovered, that she’d had little hope in being able to avoid killing (so sick of it after a conflict called the "Enemy/Alliance War"). She had no choice then, but she did now at that time. So she was going to leave Gollum’s fate to those of that world and leave it at that.

Of course, things never are easy. It hadn’t been easy for her before I’d come into the group and things hadn’t changed now.

See, after the seconds it took for Inquirer to do what she did and load Gollum and herself onto the flying carpet (first time she’d ever use it, I’m told), the volcano started to REALLY erupt! Flew her carpet out seconds before the lava got to her spot and then went on out (avoiding lava bombs) and picking up the stranded hobbits on the rock outcropping outside. Got them (after giving the collapsing flame eye of Sauron "the finger" in passing . . . must ask exactly what "the finger" means sometime) to the army of the good guys outside the Black Gate . . . . only to have the fun of Mt. Doom’s eruption turning into one like what happened in a place called Washington.

"Mount Saint Helen," one of the Crichtons gag. "The thing’s collapsed and sent out . . . ."

"A choking cloud of ash and . . ." Inquirer shook her head, remembering. "Was all I could do to cast the shield spells to get those I got to safety. Only a few I could save and care off by my carpet. . ."

Basically, it was only the hobbits, the surviving members of the Fellowship, and Aragon who’d she’d been able to save. The others suffocated.

And then, the final event of the day was where she watched the Middle Earth hobbits transform into Terra Prime halfings (the nearest thing that that world had to hobbits). Similar, but not the same. That was quickly followed by all but Gandalf changing as well.

...

She believes that the Defiant has punched a hole in the sky. A hole from a Terra Prime like universe into that alien realm, doing the same thing to what passes for Middle Earth physics (or what the game of Torg would call Axioms) as what had happened back on Core Earth when we came into the scene. To put it simply, Middle Earth was changing into a place like Terra Prime . . . and changing the folk upon it to fit into that new reality. Which included changing a human being (who was the new king of the human kingdom) into an elf!

Ah, see, thing is that elves of Terra Prime aren’t ABLE to fall in love with a human being, like between man an woman . . husband/wife stuff. Not made that way, mentally. But in this place their was a human man in love with a elfin woman and somehow, as what can happen in a Torg game with "Axiom wash" (look up the game of Torg for what that’s about) when something possible becomes impossible due to axiom contradiction, the rules of the universe/cosm changes the contradiction into something that fit the rules. So where a paradox stood, an elfin man remained.

"And if luck follows . . . the axiom wash also changed all the former human king’s subjects might follow," Inquirer sighed. "Nothing certain, but wacky shit like that happens more often, recently, than I’d like to think about."

"And I didn’t stick around long enough to answer questions," she finished up, holding up the Segments and the Detector wand (which draws a surprised and frightened look from the Crichtons, who whisper something about The Key to Time). "Longer I stayed down there the better the chance that something would try to foul things up and these would get lost.

Crichton, both of them, remembered the Tom Baker episode of Doctor Who about that series: The Key to Time. Realized something was up when they saw what they’d seen so far and the Doctor being real...

But that said, Inquirer suspected -- just a hunch -- that somehow a High Lord was involved. Just a "gut instinct" she said, but it was the best theory she could think of to fit what she’d seen so far.

"Man, it’s weird," she finishes up, "But I just haven’t any other ideas right now."

She then excuses herself and heads up to the Bridge to do what she needs to do.

Of course, we left behind had to explain what Torg was to the others and such, but that’s not important. Frankly, there was a lot to take in there, but in typical one of the Crichtons has to ask . . .

"Sooo," he drawls, looking down at an elf. "What’s your story?"

1. "We ended up in an Elfquest reality," A'eitia says softly. "At a point . . . a terrible point of disaster."

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